𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽 ღ 𝒥𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓀𝑜𝑜𝓀

Chapter 9: Cold showers

 Jungkook's P.O.V

"And one, two, three, four." Hoseok hyung's voice beamed over the music as we had to do the steps for the chorus, which were tiringly and hard. Another point that exhausted me was that I had to dance in the middle for most part of the chorus. Normally I would've been excited but now it only stressed me out. The dancing also didn't help the fact that I had a headache, that was growing stronger and stronger throughout the session. Frequent stings of pain flashed through my head and it made me feel sick to my stomach and extremely dizzy. After a while, I felt like I wasn't going to hold out any longer but then a miracle happened as I heard the leader say the words: "It's time to stop, the CEO wants to see us in a few minutes."

Heavy breathing was heard and the smell of sweat hung around our body as we all made our ways to our water bottles. Taking it all in at once I felt relieved by the cooling water against my dry throat. We hadn't all that much time to sweat it out as we immediately had to make our ways to the CEO's office. Still in our sports outfits, Namjoon hyung knocked on his door. "Come in." Was heard from inside the room.

Opening the door we all went inside, Namjoon first of course. We said our greetings and bowed respectfully as we stood in a line, a little bit nervous of what the CEO had to say. "Welcome.. welcome." He said, "Stand comfortably." "Ah yes." Namjoon-hyung spoke. "Well let's get straight to the point right away." The CEO started, "You all know very well that your comeback is, well was 1,5 months away. We have to set the date earlier because of some difficulties with the staff." "When will our comeback be then, sir?" Namjoon asked. "It will be 3 weeks earlier, so then it will be on the 29th of April. I know it's a bit of a shock and you will have to work harder, but I think that's not that big of a problem, especially with all your hard-working mindsets!"

"We will work hard sir!" We all said in unison. "You may go now. Thank you for your understanding." The CEO said with a smile.

Back in the car we all let out heavy signs, having our comeback earlier meant less sleep and more practicing. It also meant I had to lose the kilos faster, I only had 6 weeks left now. Oh god how am I able to even do that? I sighed again and then winced a bit because a sting could be felt in my head again, how I wished the car would go faster so I can go to sleep. Closing my eyes, I laid my head against the window of the car. I was truly happy that all the members were silent or having only soft conversations, so my head had some peace. I didn't know when it happened but once I felt the exhaustion taking a turn on me I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't sitting or standing, I wasn't even on the ground. I was a meter from the ground and to be accurate in someone's arms. When I looked up to see who it was I saw our leaders face facing forward. Being way too tired to say something about this scene I closed my eyes again.

It felt weird being carried and especially the moment we went up the stairs, it had something scary not climbing it yourself. Even though I knew I could trust Namjoon hyung not to let me fall, I still felt like I was about to fall and clung onto hyung opening my eyes again. Namjoon hyung looked down to meet my eyes and he let out a chuckle at the way I clung onto him.

When we reached the top he carried me to my room and put me onto my bed. The soft feeling of my mattress felt godly against my back. "Go take a nap, you looked tired today. And sorry about scolding you today, I didn't mean to sound so angry." Namjoon hyung told me honestly. "It's ok hyung, if you never scold me I won't learn." I let out a small laugh, forgiving him at once. "Now sleep Kookie, you need it! We'll wake you when dinner is ready." He smiled and then closed the curtains, switched the light off and closed the door when he left the room.

I signed in relief that it was finally completely silent, and for being alone. And even more thankful for being on my bed and it being dark in the room. Less happy for the fact that I was going to be woken when dinner was ready, while I don't even want to eat. Forgetting about all that, I concentrated on my breathing and not long after I fell in a deep sleep.

The moment I opened my eyes again I felt a lot better as my headache was now gone and I didn't feel tired anymore. The bad thing was that someone had woken me, and I smelled food. Food that most likely was going to be inside my stomach at the end of dinner. Jimin stood beside my bed telling me to come quickly before the food gets cold. Then he ran off to downstairs leaving me on my own again. I had zero motivation to go down or to even get out of my bed. Slowly, pushing my own body of the bed I made my way downstairs to the dining table. I sat down on my usual spot across Jimin, beside Jin.

A plate was shoved in front of my face, lasagna. I felt sick only looking at it. It wasn't that I wasn't hungry, but why out of all things Lasagna? Lasagna has about a million calories and so much fat in it. Why..? Everyone started eating, and as I looked around I saw Jin hyung staring at me. I took this as a sign to eat and complied; If I don't eat the oldest will start fussing and ask thousands of questions why I didn't touch the food.

Taking a bite I tasted the godly cheese on my tongue slipping inside my throat. It tasted amazing but as I started taking a second bite I remembered why I had felt sick before and took, instead of an enormous bite, a small one. Then another one and just one more before I started playing with the food, turning the cheese around and spinning it around my fork. Once in a while I took a tiny bite. Later the idea came to put some of the food inside of my pockets which I did when everyone was too occupied to notice, even Jin hyung was too busy with talking to Namjoon hyung. It felt sticky inside of my pocket of my pants and I knew how gross it will become when I have to get it out again. When no one looked I put another small bit inside of the pocket; that would be enough for now I guessed.

Taking one last bite and leaving a small 1/3 of the food on my plate I told Jin I was full and wanted to get to bed early because I still felt tired, a complete lie. But naïve Jin hyung fell for it and told me to wash up before I went to bed. So I went upstairs to get my PJ's first thing and headed to the bathroom and locked the door. It was, as I already thought earlier, a sticky gross mess to get all of the lasagna out of my pockets. But it worked out well and I flushed all of it down the toilet.

Pulling down my pants and pulling of my shirt I stood there in my boxers, taking out the scale I stood on it. I was still 61kg. Not happy with the same weight I angrily took out my phone and wrote down the lasagna that I ate in my small food-diary.

Day 1:

Weight: 61 Kg

Breakfast: nothing

Lunch: Rice (a bowl), Salad (1/4 of a plate)

Dinner: Lasagna (2/3 of a plate)

I wasn't happy a single bit with what I had to write down, it seemed like a million things. I then noticed the fact that I forgot some things to write.

Snacks: nothing

Drinks: Water

That made me slightly feel better. But I still felt mad, hateful to myself about the fact why I ate so much in just one day. I remember the days where we had to diet before debut and we only had one meal per day. I am envious of those days. Not wanting to go further into thinking about those things I pulled of my boxers and started to shower, putting it on cold with the fact that you lose weight when you bathe in cold water; all read at 3AM. Stepping inside of it, I shivered because of the cold but stood strongly as I washed my hair and body. After I did , I only stood there, just stood there as I felt a big desire to cry, but didn't, because doing that will bring nothing good.

Nothing at all.