Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 16

Small Bump - Ed Sheeran

Emma

When you are little you spend ages and ages dreaming up the perfect birthday.

As a young girl you long of princess gowns and pale pink cupcakes. In your teens you beg and beg for your parents to allow you to have a coed house party. And at 18 all you want is overflowing alcohol on your first legal night with your overzealous friends. But today, on my 22nd birthday all I really want is, is...

Honestly I don't know what I expected from today. Harry and I had tentative plans, at best, to spend tonight drinking and watching movies together but when he didn't even show up to class today I knew it was a lost cause.

The messages have been streaming in all day from everyone. Special messages over facebook, twitter, and text. A facetime session with mum, Steve, and my little siblings but absolutely nothing from my fucking best friend.

Again I don't know what I expected but to hear nothing? I certainly didn't expect that from him.

To make things even worse I have been laying on my bed on the verge of tears ever since I finished class an hour ago instead of being pissed and overflowing with anger like I should be. And I am, I am really fucking pissed at the both of us and the weird mess we are in.

I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't rely on a man to the point where I am crying in my bed because they didn't show up for me but what have I gone and done? I'm pitiful, absolutely fucking pitiful.

And to put the cherry on top of the cake the one thing that I really want, the only thing I know that will make me feel better is exactly the person I can't let myself have.

Why didn't I knock on his door that day? Why can't I be brave and tell him my heart skips a beat when we study French together? Or when his hand presses the base of my back when he leads my tipsy self to his car? Or when I find his dimpled smile staring down at me as we bicker with each other?

Why can't I seem to trust him with one thing that keeps holding me back? I feel horrible but I only have myself to blame as I press my hands to my face to try and stop the teas that I know are going to start flowing again.

Harry

I've been a dick.

I know I have these past few weeks but I haven't able to shake the feeling like she's keeping something vital about herself from me like I have in the past.

But today I am remedying that.

All day I've been gathering all her favorite things, a few bottles of her favorite Malbec, the chocolate cake that I know makes her mouth water, butter microwave popcorn, a stack of her favorite movies, and my favorite surprise, a necklace of her's I've kept from before I moved away from her with my family when we were young.

I don't know how she'll take it or if she even remembers it really.

When we were young we would every free moment together, playing in the backyard, watching movies, family dinners. Emma was really one of the family.

She was like another sister but nearly the complete opposite of Gemma. While Gemma was into makeup and hair products Emma was more than happy to play cops and robbers outside, dirt accumulating underneath our fingernails. The only really girly thing that she wore was this necklace she got from her parents when she was a young girl and everything was good.

We went on countless adventures together after school and on more than one occasion she would end up staying at my house through to the next morning.