Don't Even Bother

friends?

((read the lyrics while the song is playing))

Sooo about that "friend" problem that I have.... It happened again. They started talking about my friend and I behind our backs. I'm so stressed right now. I can't handle it anymore, not to mention that my mom is going into surgery right now because she has something wrong with her Fallopian tubes. I'm really worried about her, but at least she won't have anymore pain after the surgery is done, hopefully..

Anyway, about the 'friend' situation, I feel like I can't trust them anymore. They deliberately talk bad about me, even my closest friend. She knows almost everything about me. I just really hate how open I am with people even though I try so hard not to be.

I'm done. I'm done with everything. I want to desperately cut my ties with them, but I know that next year in high school, I won't have anyone (I'm in 8th grade). It's literally the only thing keeping me from cutting my ties.

I want to give up. I hate everything. I want to have a second go at it. Maybe then I'll be successful this time. Yeah, that's right. I'm suicidal, and I've already tried killing myself. Overdose, but it didn't work for some reason. Most of the time, I wish it had..

I can't handle other people's criticism, especially if it's from someone that I trust. I can't help but feel betrayed and useless. My 'friends' probably think that I'm annoying and just weighing them down.

The one person that I trusted the most, can't be trusted anymore. I can't tell them anything anymore, because I know that they'll just tell the rest of the pointless clique. Then they'll all criticize me.

I feel so alone. I hate everything. I hate this stupid world we live in. I hate reality. I hate the people that have used me. I hate the people that are betraying me. I hate life. I hate everything. I just want to leave and never come back.

04.27.16 // 7:41 pm