TDA Meets TLH

25: Cristina

I walked out onto the beach with Mark, the hot sun beating down on us. This heat was nothing compared to Mexico, though, so it didn't really affect me. I was used to it being scorching hot, all the time. Try fighting demons in that temperature. Not fun.

We both walked to where the ocean met the sand, and Mark bent down and started to skip rocks. I felt very nervous, not knowing how to start. I had felt horrible after Mark had seen Diego and I kissing. I hadn't spoken to Diego since, though he had tried to talk to me. I knew, though, that it had been partly my fault, I hadn't pulled away.

"Mark," I started, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kiss Diego. He kissed me first, and--"

"You know," He cut me off, "there was a time when I thought I would never find love. It was when I had first joined the Wild Hunt. I had been so scared and depressed, and thought my life was over. And then I met Kieran."

Mark stopped talking for a few seconds, regarding the ocean, thoughtfully.

"He was the only one who seemed to care about me. I wondered why, I mean, he was the Prince of the Unseelie Court. But he looked after me, and cared about me. We fell in love with each other, and I thought that it would be Kieran and I, forever." He continued. "But then I returned home, and I met you."

Mark looked up at me. His blue and gold eyes were filled with a kind of sadness, I couldn't place. I remained silent, listening to him.

"You cared about me, just as Kieran had, and I found myself in love with you. But this love was different. With Kieran, I could only see a future, I didn't think it would actually happen. With you, I could see us ten years down the road, married, children--"

He broke off, seeming as if he hadn't of wanted to say those last few words. My heart melted, and I felt shocked. He wanted to marry me? He wanted to have children with me?

"I knew the Clave wouldn't let us, but I figured they would make an exception." Mark went on. "But when I saw you kissing Diego, I saw all of that fade away."

"Mark." I whispered. "I didn't mean to, you have to know that."

"I do know that." He said. "Because I've made the same mistake."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Mark took a deep breath. "After I saw you kissing Diego, I came out here to be alone. Kieran was here. He came to see how I was doing, and then..."

"And then you kissed him." I finished, my mouth feeling dry.

He looked up at me. "I am so sorry, Cristina, it was horrible of me."

I sighed and shook my head. "I forgive you, I understand. You were angry at me because I hurt you, and then you wanted to hurt me."

"You do understand." Mark sighed in relief. "I am very sorry."

"So am I." I replied, moving closer to him.

As I did, Mark took a step back. My eyes widened, and I felt hurt.

"I've been thinking a lot, about you and I." He started, "And---and I think we should break up."

I felt as if someone had punched me in stomach. What? He was breaking up with me?

"Why?" I whispered, my eyes welling with tears. "Do you not love me, anymore?"

"No! No, I love you. God, I love you." Mark closed his eyes.

"Then what is it?"I asked.

He opened his eyes, and looked at me. "If we stayed together, we would always have to hide our relationship. You could never introduce me to your family, because of what I am. That's not fair to you, Cristina. You want someone who you can bring home, and love in front of everyone. We could never get married, or have children, the Clave wouldn't allow it."

"I don't care about any of that." I argued. "We could make it work."

"What about when you have to go back to Mexico at the end of the year? What would we do then?" Mark challenged.

"I'm not going back." I spoke bitterly. "I don't belong there, anymore."

"Still, we could never make it work." He spoke sadly.

"But I'm in love with you." I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

Mark walked up to me, so were face to face. He put a hand on my cheek, looking down at me, sadly.

"I'm in love with you, too." He whispered. "So, so, in love with you. That's why I'm doing this. You deserve better."

Mark then leaned down and kissed me. His lips were soft against mine, and I pulled him against me. He held me, tightly, and there was no space between us. His silvery blonde hair was soft under my fingertips, and I savoured our kiss. When we finally pulled away, I felt as if someone had torn off one of my limbs.

"Goodbye, Cristina." Mark whispered sadly.

I didn't say anything, tears only streamed down my face. He disentangled himself from me, and walked away, towards the Institute. I watched him go, and when he disappeared, I sunk down in the sand. I felt broken. I had never felt pain like this, before, not even when I had heard Diego and Jaime say those things about my family and I. I had lost the love of my life. I thought I loved Diego, and maybe I did, but it was nothing compared to the way I loved Mark.

I sat there for hours, weeping, and when I finally got up, the sky was dark. I numbly walked back to the Institute, and slipped past everyone in the kitchen. I walked to my room, and closed the door behind me. I sat on my bed, feeling lost, and then there was a knock at my door.

"Cristina? Are you okay?" Emma.

I walked over and opened the door, and let her in. She closed the door, and she sat on my bed.

"You've been crying." She said immediately. "Are you alright?"

I sighed, feeling hollow. "No, I'm not."