Hate the Player and the Game

chapter 21

Chapter 21

Diamond

         I was back at school and still depressed. I was living in a group home, I lost my boyfriend, and it felt like I had lost apart of me. Cruze had never returned to school so that made me even more down. It made me have no choice but to think that he was dead. I hated walking through the hall ways with everyone in my face asking me where he was. I wanted to kick a bitch ass when Ivory stepped to me and said, "Guess it didn't last huh"? I was tired. I was tired of everyone in my goddamn business and I was tired of not having Cruze around. I never cried anymore. The last time I cried was the first night I spent in that group home, but after that, I felt like I had no more tears left. I was still as popular as I wanted to be. No one noticed that I was hurt, or how depressed I was. Everyone just wanted to talk to me and ask me where I've been for the past two weeks. So as far as school, it was the same.

I spent most of my time in that group home in my room listening to my CD player and sleeping. When I wasn't in the group home, I spent most of my time at the twins house and hanging out with Brye. Since Cruze hadn't come back to school, Tyrone had been trying to holla at me again. I knew that he wasn't off of my team. There was nothing in the world that would keep that boy from trying to make me his. I never really cared for boys the way I did for Cruze. I figured that we were now broken up since I didn't know if he was dead or alive and I haven't heard from him. With the money I had from boosting, I would spend it on going to the movies with Tyrone, Chardenay, and Tank. Tyrone was so happy that I said yes to him for the double date that he almost had a heart attack. He might have thought it was a date, but I told him that it was just two friends kicking it. I hated when he tried to kiss me. It wasn't the same as kissing Cruze. The feeling and the emotion wasn't there. The spark I felt for Cruze when he touched me just wasn't there when Tyrone did. I had no vibe for Tyrone like I did for Cruze. When he would throw his arm around my shoulder, I would push it right off. I felt like I could never find the same love that I had for Cruze with someone else ever again. Tyrone just mumbled in my ear talking about shit while I was trying to watch the movie. I just slurped on my slushy while he talked about getting in between my legs and eating my pussy. This nigga only could talk about fucking me and nothing else. I wondered how he thought that someday I would like him if he had no respect for me. Me ever dating Tyrone was just a whole bunch of bullshit. Ms. Tamra gave me a ride back to the group home after the movies. For it to be the weekend, this was my very first time coming in early. It was just going on eight o'clock at night when I stepped through the double doors, and went up two flights of stairs to my room. Kianna was sitting on her bed brushing her long, Persian hair. I kicked of my Reebok's and pushed them under my bed with my foot. I took off my jacket and threw it on my bed then layed down next to it. I then took off my hoop earrings and my bracelets and put them on my end table. I layed on my pillow then I looked over at Kianna. She looked bored as she continued to brush her long silky hair.

"Hey". I said. She looked over at me as she yanked the brush through her hair. "Why are you in here? Why are you in this place"? It took her a long time to answer my question, but she tilted her head to the side as she tugged at her hair with the brush and looked at me.

"My momma was hittin' on me and my little brother, so they took us from her, split me and my brother up and I ended up here". She said with no emotion.

"She abused yall"? I asked.

"I don't wanna call it abuse, but she was an alcoholic and she always came home and would beat our asses for no reason. My little brother was forced to sleep in the closet sometimes, and she would beat me with two-by-fours until she saw blood. This place is a whole lot better than living with the devil. I hate her and I'm glad that they put me in here". I looked at Kianna. She had lot's of scars on her arms and legs that looked like they weren't going anywhere. I stood up and rocked my hips from side to side as I pulled down my jeans, then I put on a hoodie and some shorts. "You dress nice". She told me. "Your beautiful even when your going to sleep".