Allure ❤︎ lrh

c h a p t e r t w e n t y t w o

Lolita

"Can you two, like, stop flirting and giggling for at least five minutes?" I groaned for the nth time during the car ride. How I wish I just insisted to stay in the barn. At least even if my horses flirt with each other, it wouldn't look this gross.

'Admit it, you're just jelous.' -- and there goes my bitchy of a subconciousness striking me yet again. Okay, fine; perhaps I was jelous but why the hell can't they just (for the sake of my innocent, though, not so innocent eyes) keep their hands to themselves? (a/n: don't)

Glaring at the pair one last time, I felt Luke's eyes burning, piercing a hole through me as he stopped on another red light. He wasn't doing this on purpose, that I am a hundred percent sure. You could clearly see the love in his eyes as he spare glances towards mom and her doing the exact same thing. They are deeply in love, it wasn't just for the sake of company or money or any  type of clichè thing found in telecasts; it is love.

I've never envied my mom until today -- she looks extremely happy with him while all I could do is cross my fingers, wish on 11:11, or pray for miracles to bless my life with happiness and love that I've always wanted to feel. Yes, my mother loves me more than she loves herself but I've always seek for more. Perhaps it was because I never felt my father's love; not even when he was with us. I never felt it, and that is why I was searching humbly for it from another person -- not the mere father love for his daughter but just love. I want it, and I want it as soon as possible.

"Lo?" my mother called from the passenger's seat, making me snap my head up from resting on the soft leather seat.

"Mm?" I hummed, giving her a questioning look.

She sighed before answering, "let me ask this for the last time, Lolita Winchester. What would you like to order?"

I glanced at my surroundings, twitching my head from left to right as realization starts to hit me -- we're in a McDonald's drive thru. I shake my head, drowning my thoughts away and letting my eyes meet my mother's brown orbs.

"Just some nuggets, fries and a Coke float," I shrugged, "oh, and also a Matcha McFlurry!"

I love McDonald's. It's always been my happy place -- despite the fact that the clown mascot always scares the shit out of me -- it's the best fast food place, I've got to admit.

"Ow," she winced. Or should I say, giggled.

"Lilette, I swear you're the most ticklish person I've ever met." Luke chuckles at my mother as he hands her the orders.

"Oh, no. Just wait until you tickle Lo, am I right?" she asked, turning her head towards me from the front seat. I smiled at the effort and shook my head defensively.

"Of course not, mom. I'm not ti-- what the hell?!" I snatched my knee from the tickly feeling, slightly laughing as the realization hits me. Luke just fucking traveled his fingers on my knee. I blushed at the thought but made sure to hide it. I was about to protest but the car from behind us suddenly honked, making all of us fix our eyes on the blank wall ahead of us and drive away.

* * *

As soon as we arrived, they made out by the door and I swear it was the most awkward scene in my whole life. It's not that I've never seen something as disgusting -- sorry, mother -- this but it just feels awkward seeing it in person. Don't even get me started on the fact that they just created a pile of clothes enough for a cute, chubby dog to sleep and get comfortable in and oh, shit -- they are about to unbutton each other's jeans but I faked a cough, I'm never letting them have sex in front of my bare eyes. I'd rather be blind and deaf at the same time.

"You forgot, you have a daughter in front of you, you might want to take your 'business' in your room? A little privacy never hurt anybody." raising my hands up in mere surrender as they both breathe heavily, I made my way towards the stairs and up in my room. I locked the door and plopped on my bed as various thoughts swarm in my mind, including the statement I've let out.

Stepdaughter, of course. I am nothing but a stepdaughter to him. I was intrigued, intimidated by his mere presence, infatuated even but I know I can't do that -- not towards my stepfather who loves and cares for my mother and sees me as nothing but an extra, a bonus. I was never the reason why he picked my mom.

'Oh please, Lolita. You know very well that people buy things with freebies because they want it too,' my subconciousness thought.

"Yes, but they get it because they get something extra from it, they save money. That exactly is my point, I wasn't the very thing that mattered." I replied, literally talking to myself but then, I heard the thud which signifies world war three in the other room. Rolling my eyes, I plugged my earphones on my iPod and blasting The 1975's songs, making sure it's on full volume until I heard it.

"She's got a boyfriend anyway," as if the song would like to remind me as my bed halts from the wall as I roll my eyes.

Or at least in my case,

"He's got a wife anyway."