The Lionfield Brothers ✔

27| ''This isn't over''

A/N: Picture of Pixie with dark hair in the media.

JETT

For years I'd struggled with the guilt - the overwhelming emotion that I drowned in every single day I breathed life into my lungs.

Daniel had died because of my choice, at my hand and ultimately at the mercy I failed to exhibit.

Over the years I'd managed to overcome it, making the sharp pains in my chest subside into a constant ache in the background. The guilt had become part of my life and I was finally starting to accept it when Keira came into my life.

Now it turned out that it was all a lie, my entire life had been a lie.

I sat in silence opposite Nathaniel, trying to come up with some emotion - any emotion. Anything was better than the emptiness I felt resonating within my soul.

He wasn't looking at me, just stared down at his hands.

We had been sitting here for perhaps hours, just us two in the room he had been shut in. The boys had put a table within the magic barrier room, so that we could both sit at opposite ends as if we were in an interrogation room.

For once in my life, I wasn't angry or sad. I was completely empty.

How many years had gone by for me? To live in confusion under Nathaniel's glaring eyes. To wonder why he hated my self-guilt. To wonder why he strived so hard to be a model student, to be everything a Lionfield heir was supposed to be.

'You did it for the guilt,' I said, not a question but a statement. My brother's green eyes flickered up towards me before he looked away, his fingers balling together so hard his entire hand shook - making the table we were sitting at tremble under his touch. 'You had me believe I did it,' I continued, finding it rather peculiar that this didn't anger me.

Lady Eluen had explained to Keira that I was in shock, and that I was to be given some time to let everything sink in. I, myself, wasn't quite aware of what exactly had to sink in. My brother had betrayed me, that was it.

'You don't understand-' Nathaniel started but I interrupted him coolly.

'I do, I lived the majority of my life thinking I'd killed my own brother'

He looked up at me and for the first time, I watched my elder brother expose all of his emotions - all the guilt, anger and sadness he had had to keep to himself over all these years, 'I killed Daniel'.

The confession lingered in the room before I asked, 'Why did you make me think it was me?'

Nathaniel couldn't look me in the eye but instead peered at something over my shoulder as he answered monotonously, 'It was easier for me to cope with if I used you as a scapegoat'.

I'd always known that Nathaniel was selfish but I hadn't quite expected him to be this selfish, 'So I could bear your burden'.

'Edmund said that you were mentally more capable than me... that you would handle it better than I did'

'So, you made your little brother suffer the guilt that was yours to bear,' I summarised softly.

I didn't notice that Nathaniel was crying until the tears leaked past the hands he had pressed to his eyes, 'He promised me he knew a way to reverse his death, that you would only suffer for a bit whilst I helped him'.

'He killed Daniel,' I whispered, 'He killed our brother because he wanted to kill his own sister. How could you trust-'

'I didn't know at the time!' Nathaniel bursted out before his voice lowered again into sobbing, 'I didn't know he was behind it all... I-I just recently found out so... I took Leila and ran'.