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0.18 vapor

Luke pov
It had been months
To be clear it was June already
I wanted to look into her eyes even if it was just her lying to me that she still loved me
I wanted to feel her love like the weather all over me
I wanted to be the one she remembered
I wanted more time with her

Of course none of that was going to happen because I fucked up . The boys still continued to be her good friends which I'm grateful that me being a fuckboy didn't ruin or strain her relationship with the rest of the guys. I guess seeing her happy with someone else hurt. Like a punch to the face only harder like it was happening repeatedly. Her eyes light up whenever she's with him . And the worst is knowing she's over you because she finally unblocks you she talks about the relationship freely not being hurt by the fact that you two broke apart. Worst being she still follows you and doesn't mind if you see what she's up to or who's she's with . She has a new glow to her she shines is every way stronger then ever. And you start to remember how her lips tasted . How she ran into your arms for comfort and safety and how now she runs into other arms . Oh see how happy she is now with a normal college boyfriend and how freely they can be in public . You remember the first date and how nervous you were how your palms were sweating . How she always stole your sweaters because it made her feel ease even if you were gone . It makes you miss the long nights when you guys talked about everything dreams, goals, aspirations etc. it makes you wish the breakup was some twisted dream where you can wake up and wash it all away and there she will be lying next to you .
The boys say I need to let it go and be with someone new , but how can you find someone new when the person who loved you with so much love and care is gone only because you messed up not another reason . I'm just lost and reluctant I want her to love me again and for her to let go of everything but that's just selfish. I want to run back to her to feel safe from my own self. I want her to love me liked she did I'd give anything for it
Darkest nights are even darker without her by my side. The rain used to bring me ease and now my thoughts are even more cluttered together . I let my thoughts flow as the boys played their game and I heard her voice  I shook my head it was just my mind playing with me.
"Luke?"
But this time my mind wasn't playing with me