Bucketlist (A Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

eighteen

e m i l y

I looked up at shawns eyes. "so this is goodbye then?" I asked. we were standing outside of his tour bus and his tour manager had just told us it was time to go.

"yeah, I guess for now." he said.

he held both my hands as we stood close together.

"you're gonna do great things shawn." I said pulling him into a hug.

he held me tightly and tears escaped my eyes.

when we were pulled apart I saw his eyes saddened even more once they met mine.

"awe don't cry, em." he said wiping away the tears with his thumbs. his eyes turned red as he said this.

"I'll see you in a few months. it'll be like I never left." he said and I nodded.

"I love you, shawn." I whispered and he looked up, obviously upset.

he placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled my in for a kiss. we kissed passionately until we ran out of breath.
"I love you too." he said releasing my and getting on his bus.

I felt empty and like my heart was in my stomach.

I stood there as the bus drove away, pretending like it would turn back around and come get me. after a few minutes I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"how you holding up?" gilinsky asked me.

"Good." I said looking straight.

"really.?" he asked me and I turned my head to him attempting a smile, but when i failed, I knew the true answer. "no." I said and as soon as the word came out of my mouth more tears came out of my eyes.

"aw Emily." gilinsky said pulling me in for a hug, "take it from me, it'll get better."

"I know, it just hurts a lot. " I said and he rubbed my back.

"I know." he said comforting me.

he didn't have to say much, hugs always help.

"come on, let's go." he said releasing from the hug but keeping one arm around me.

"where to?" Johnson said from the backseat. gilinsky was driving and I was in the passenger seat.

gilinsky looked at me awaiting my answer.
"my house I guess." I said.

we sat in (almost)silence the whole ride home. there were occasional comments but nothing that started a whole conversation.

when we arrived at my house they unbuckled.

"you guys don't have to come in. I'll be fine, seriously. it's not like he died or something."

"we know." Johnson said getting out of the car, "but we're bored and you're entertaining."

"I don't know how much fun I'll be today. I kinda just wanna relax."

"we love to relax." gilinsky said.

we walked inside of my house and they immediately made themselves at home.
gilinsky plopped down on my living room couch and Johnson opened the fridge.

"help yourself." I said to Johnson joking and he laughed.

"oh I will." he said pulling out a few frozen chocolate chip pancakes and popping them in my microwave.