Chapter Twenty Eight

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Chapter Twenty Eight

“How’s Tommy?” Jan’s voice is low.

“Sleeping—he says he’s fine.”

Ryder blinks rapidly, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness of the hallway as Jan peels herself from the wall.

“And what do you say?”

“That there’s not much point in trying to disagree with him,” Ryder grins. “What about, Deeta?”

“She’s sleeping—we aren’t used to excitement like you and, Tommy, are—it takes a lot out of us,” she begins to move down the hall, matching her pace with his. “What do we do now?”

“The only thing we can do—we get ready for war,” answers Ryder.

“Is that all you know how to do?” asks Jan bitterly. “Fight and destroy things?”

Ryder’s hand encircles her upper arm, bringing her round to face him as he comes to an abrupt halt in the corridor.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Who was in charge of the rescue mission mounted to find Dec?”

“I was—from beginning to end,” answers Ryder.

“You were,” Jan closes her eyes as tears spill over her lashes. “You were in charge of the mission where, Deeta, was beaten,” her eyes open and she pulls away from his slackened grip. “Do you have any idea how they left her—because I do: bruised and unconscious where she fell. Who was in charge of the attack on the Marshall compound when we sought refuge here?”

“I was,” Ryder’s voice is grim.

“You were…look around you, Ryder, at what you’ve accomplished—you destroyed this place—how did you suppose that this tribe would survive after you had brought them to this…did you even care?”

Ryder is quiet for a while, staring into the depths of her eyes…searching for something.

“I thought that your tribe was holding, Tommy—”

“That’s what you thought,” agrees Jan. “But what was the reality of the situation? The truth was that Tommy, was living with us of his own free will—sometimes what you think and the truth are wildly different.”

There is a moment’s silence.

“What do you want me to say, Jan?” asks Ryder quietly. “That I was wrong? I was, but if you were in my position and were told that Deeta, had been captured by another tribe—was being held as their prisoner, how would you have felt…what would you have done when they started threatening her life?”

Jan shakes her head miserably and refuses to look at him.

“Do you think that I want this? That I want to fight out there in the cold and desolate wastes of this city, for my life and the survival of my tribe. I don’t. For one thing I’m scared to death that I’ll lose yet more of my brothers and nephews, but the thing that worries me the most is that I’ll lose you no matter what I do.”

Jan turns her head sharply to look up at him from turbulent, stormy eyes.

“How do you know you ever had me?”

“Not know—thought, but like you said, what I think and the truth sometimes differ wildly.”

Jan feels the pressure of his arm pulling her towards him and doesn’t struggle as his free hand pushes her chin up.

“So let’s find out for sure, shall we?” 

Jan doesn’t try to break from his hold, if anything she leans into his embrace, and for a considerable while there is no sound in the hallway.

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