Change for the better?

Chapter 4

Everything after that moment was a blur. I laid next to my mother sobbing I tried my hardest to get her back to life. I pushed her, I tried CPR, I put a tourniquet around her gushing wound, from a knife presumably because I heard no gunshots. I tried everything but nothing brought my mother back to life. That was the day that I Raleigh Foster turned into an orphan. The paramedics came in and had to pry me off of her. Once they did I couldn't move. Everything was so surreal I felt like the world had crashed beneath me. This was way worse than when dad died. I didn't witness his, but I watched my mother die and I couldn't do the slightest thing about it. I did what I could and it just wasn't enough.

I didn't stay at home, I couldn't. My Aunt Sarah picked me up and brought me to her house. She cried with me and tried to help me the best she could . I stayed up until 4, I was too nervous and too much of a wreck to even think of sleeping , but it eventually ran it's course and I was out for about 2 hours and then wide awake for the next 5.

I decided to get up and make me something to eat since I was shaking so bad. I figured that it would maybe help, but of course it didn't help. Closer to 9 my Aunt came and sat next to me. I sighed and put my bowl in the sink, Lucky Charms weren't my favorite anymore. Aunt Sarah then grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to her.

"Honey, you don't think that what happened to your mother was your fault do you?" She said calmly.

"I do. I could've done something more. I should have stabbed George myself. I could've tried harder to break them up. It just angers me. I tried warning Mom that George was no good and she didn't listen, SHE DIDN'T LISTEN." I screamed, I was now bawling. She pulled me tighter and spoke again.

"That isn't your fault. Your Mother had a sweet heart, sometimes way too sweet. She saw the good in everybody. No matter what background they had she would trust them to be different. That was her fatal flaw. We all have one. It was in no way your fault and I don't want you blaming yourself. Sweetie your Mom loved you with all her heart and she would hate for you to believe that what happened to her was because of you. Now listen, I bet your mother is extremely happy up there with your father. "

I didn't say anything more, I quickly dried my tears and got out of Aunt Sarah's grip. I grabbed my phone and went upstairs, I was a little tired but I was more depressed than anything oh and grieving . I felt horrible for blowing her off that morning and I guess she was right. I should've appreciated her more because she was my only parent left. Now I have no one but Aunt Sarah and she will never compare to my mother, never. Not even if she tries. No one will.

I grabbed my little bag I packed before I left and grabbed me some clothes. Nothing too fancy, a black shirt and a pair of black leggings. I mean why not wear something that matches my feelings. Once I slipped on the clothing I put on my grey UGGs and through my messy hair into a bun. My face was a little droopy considering I've spent my 12 hours crying my eyes out and not sleeping much.

I wanted to get my mind off of things so I asked Aunt Sarah to take me to get my car. It was the least of my worries yesterday. I told myself that once I arrived I was going to be strong , I was not going to cry because mom wouldn't want me to. Oh yeah, and I have makeup on and I don't want it to run.

"Be careful, I'll see you later and I love you. Pizza okay for dinner tonight?" Aunt Sarah said while grabbing our mail from the box.

"Yep that's fine, I'm going to go get something to eat. I didn't have much earlier."

"That's fine, take your time." She blew me a kiss and then drove away.

There was caution tape all around my house and two big bloody footprints on our front porch. I sucked in a huge breath and punched in the code for the garage. 22490 is the code, that's the year my parents got married. The garage door rose up, revealing my 2010 black Toyota Camry. I smiled a little and climbed in. My music turned on full blast, practically making me deaf. I covered my ears and turned it down.

Barely anyone was on the highway. I figured it being a Tuesday and it being almost lunchtime that more people would be heading home or going somewhere.

I've tried to push the image out of my head but it was nearly impossible. It makes me miserable every time I think about it. Times like these are times I wish I had a brother or a sister to rely on. A brother or sister that would feel the same way I do, that knows my pain. The closest thing I have to a brother or sister is my cousin Macy and she lives halfway across the united states.

I pull into the familiar parking lot and lock my car. A rush of warm air hits me as I walk through the door. The little bell chimes. Signaling another customer and the waiter rushes over. It was Camden. Once he saw me a smile appeared on his face. Not a fake smile you give to every customer, a real, genuine smile. My smile wasn't so sincere but I mean if what happen yesterday didn't happen it would have been. I followed him to a small booth in the back and sat down.

"No school again? Or are you skipping because you can't go more than a few days without seeing me. Huh, is that it?" Camden said teasingly.

"Yeah that's totally it." I sarcastically said.

"Well when I come back , you can tell me the real reason why." Camden grabbed the drink menu and headed for the back kitchen. I decided to text Macy. I figure she would want to know what happened.

Me: Hey Mace, it's Raleigh. How's school going for you? I always knew that you would grow up and become a doctor since you love helping people. I wanted to text you and tell you that my mom was killed last night. I haven't really been in the right mind to text you . I would call you but it's easier to text it out. So yeah, Sorry to ruin your day I just figured you would want to know.

Camden comes back with the actual food menu and sits down across from me. I gave him a questionable state.

"I told you I'd come back so you could tell me the real reason why you aren't at school. I took my lunch break now so I'll order something and we can have lunch together and you can tell me." He said looking over the menu.

" I barely know you" I said.

"I understand." Camden slumps back into his seat and plays with the straw.

"Okay, okay, that was rude. I just don't want to talk about it. But I guess for you I will."

That afternoon I sat for an hour or so pouring my heart out to Camden. He sat back and listened, didn't interrupt me . He just sat patiently and waited for me to finish and then he would put his input in. It was just like what my dad used to do and It helped me a lot.

"Thanks Camden for helping me, it means a lot that you used your lunch break to sit there and make me feel better. No one else would've done that. Not for me at least." I gave him a smile.

"Well I did, so that makes someone. Oh and no problem. Anytime. Hey do you want my number? Incase you need something?"

"Yeah that would be nice. Not that I would be using you. As a friend. Yep as a friend." I laughed awkwardly. Jeez why do I have to be so awkward.

He types in his phone number and heads back for his shift. I guess his lunch break was over. He said that he would get the bill but I still gave him a $20 tip. It had gotten a lot cooler once I stepped out into the breeze. It had probably cooled down a few degrees since the first time I was out here. I smiled at the thought of having someone other than family caring about me and actually taking time out of their day to spend with me.