|forty eight

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i bit my lip as i walked around.

i didn't want to go home yet.

the day was mostly cloudly,

but warm.

it was nice out here.

i felt like shit.

i started thinking about it,

and i don't think i like jungkook as anything more than a friend.

but i used him for my own pleasure.

so quite frankly,

i was a shitty friend.

i keep blaming him and the other's for my suicide attempt,

but i know it was my decision.

that's why i can't even blame yoongi.

everyone at school thinks i'm an awful person for beating him up,

but reality was that i haven't even seen him for days.

well,

i guess that's changed.

i held my breath as i walked past the two people holding hands.

they completely ignored me as if i wasn't even there.

he ignored me as if we were strangers.

as soon as they were a few steps away,

i had to turn and look back to make sure i actually saw what i think i did.

of course.

emotions flooded through me as i looked down towards their intertwined hands.

why were you holding hands with someone?

and why was it a girl?

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