Relapse ★ Bucky Barnes

JUNE FOURTEENTH

Bucky,

I've spent the past couple of days trapped in a marathon of movies, all of which you and I have seen multiple times before. That's why I haven't written for you. What's the point in writing to you about a bunch of movies you've seen before? I see none, which is why I'm gonna write to you about four movies you haven't seen before.

Okay, so, The Twilight Saga. I've only watched the movies maybe once or twice, but I don't remember ever showing them to you. They weren't really my type of movies, which is ironic considering The Vampire Diaries and The Originals are two of my favorite shows. In Twilight, there's just too much romance and not enough action or blood or the ripping out of hearts, or at least in my opinion there's not. Then Lila forced Wanda and I to watch the entire saga with her not only once, but twice, and I have to say I wasn't ready for the flood of emotions.

When I first saw the movies, I was with Dylan, and that's probably why I didn't appreciate them the way I probably should have. I would look at Bella and Edward and immediately get jealous because I wanted what they had. I've always wanted someone to love me the way he loved her, and I've always wanted to love someone the way she loves him.

As I watched the movies for the second time today, I grew to be a bit envious of Edward and Bella. They might be fictional characters, but I don't care. They have a family, they have a home, and they have each other, which is something I don't have. Yeah, I have Wanda and Mason and Pietro, and I have my temporary residency here at the Barton household, but that's not at all close to what I'm hinting at.

I want my own family with my own kids, I want my own house, and I want it all with you. I may be letting my emotions get the best of me right now, but I don't care. I don't care that I'm 21 and still young as hell (or however old I am when you wake up). I'm old enough to know what I want, and what I want is you, Bucky Barnes. I wanna marry you (Marlena Barnes does have a really nice ring to it), I wanna start a family with you, and I wanna live in my own house with you. My life would be complete; nothing in the world would make me happier than that. . .nothing at all. But I can't have any of that until you come back to me, so please come home soon.

I love you, James.

Yours,

Marlena