Room 234's VIRGIN

52. Lifelines

All I need Is you - Lecrae
"You ever heard the expression 'The best things in live are free.' Well that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back."
- Nathan Scott One Tree Hill
***
"I came" I whisper back in answer with a pained smile.

         This was a guy who made a bet to deflower me. A guy who once abandoned me, a guy who was bipolar in his attitude towards me. A guy who made me cry countless times. A guy who got on my last nerves. Who drove me crazy with worry, who made me anxious. A guy that allowed me see his wounds, see his weakness, his pain, his past and present, a guy that I should hate, that I shouldn't be here with. Yet, I came because he also made me smile, made me free, made me laugh, made me strong in his weakness and weakened broken by his eyes. Those eyes that drowned me in its secrets, he made my heart skip beats, he made me worry for him. A guy whom I had come to like with all his faults. A guy whom with one word could either break or make me. I came because my heart cared. My head was not stronger than my heart which wanted to align as one with his. I came because not only did he need me, I had come to realize I needed him. Even if it was a bet, he made me live again, hope again and for that I'm grateful.

I walk over and sit next to him.

"I'm sorry," He says.

"For what?" I reply. I needed to hear from his lips what exactly he had done.

"For approaching you due to a bet...a bet to have sex with you...a bet to take your virginity," He says.

"But you didn't," I reply.

"I didn't," He states.

"Why? Why didn't you take my virginity?" I ask closing my hands into a fist holding tightly scared of the answer but needing to hear it.

"Because you are not a bet, you're my lifeline, I'd be a fool to cut it off," He says and my breath stops.

My heartbeat takes a pause.

I let out a huge breath. Common Hera... you need answers don't be swayed by that sentence alone.

"If you really care then tell me your true thoughts, Make me understand," I say trying my best not to bite my lips.

"I didn't know you," He says.

"When I made the bet, I was a fool who lived selfishly not caring about the effects of my actions. But then I met you. You were different Hera, you're different, you showed me how to live again, how to breathe again, you opened up my heart and revived me from the sleep of death I was trapped in, you made me care, made me regret my actions and made me never want to lose you," He says.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I wanted you to find out but not from me, from someone else so you can decide without feeling pressured by me," He says.

"Is that why you never stopped Nathan and I from being close?" I ask.

"Yes, I didn't support the ...friendship, but I needed him to spill the secret and help you decide to stay or leave. I waited everyday in fear of the confrontation and your leaving me but it never came. I needed to fully be with you but I couldn't if you didn't know the truth yet I didn't want to be the one to tell you as I wanted you to hate me yet I didn't want to loose you. Neither did I want to consciously or unconsciously manipulate your decision, hence you had to find out elsewhere, be angry and decide what to do. That was when I decided to take matters into my hands," He says.

"Take matters into your hands?" I ask.

"I knew I owed MJ and I knew she wanted her revenge, so that day, when I saw you and Nathan enter the restaurant, I called her brother to meet me there. They came together to meet me but ended up meeting you," He says.

So it was her brother, and Lexis was there? Or rather saw Nathan and I?

"I know MJ, It was a beautiful revenge for her, she'd hurt me while not hurting her own relationship," He says.

"I'd be killing two birds with one stone, giving MJ her revenge while revealing the truth to you," He says.

"Why would MJ hurt you by revealing the truth? It was just a bet wasn't it?" I say.

"Not anymore, and she knew that, MJ is smart when it comes to noticing those things, I could have hidden it from her but..." He says.

"You decided to play her by allowing her know hoping she'd spill the beans" I say.

"Yes," He affirms.

"It was either Nathan or MJ, but she wouldn't budge so when I saw you and Nathan together in an area I knew she would be..." He says.

"You found your perfect opportunity and played us all," I finish.

     It was in a way twisted but then again I knew there layed an evil genius in Lexis and this manipulative side of him existed. He says he was giving me a chance to choose but in a weird way it was still all part of his scheme. If he had told me himself what would the outcome be? Probably the same. What if he'd allowed fate to lay down its cards? Probably the same.

"I'm not worthy of you Hera, not after all I've done but I wanted to give us a fresh start a clean state to be worthy of you, even if it meant playing Zeus, since fate was taking too long to reveal its cards, if you hated me I wanted to fight to earn your love and be worthy of you," He says.

     It was like a game. He knew what result he wanted to win and so he pushed right buttons to get his desired outcome, the only thing being he may have an idea of his opponents next steps but doesn't know 100% that his opponent will give his desired result.
Like a game, he played us all, moved the pieces and waited for our moves, everyone moved according to his expectations but one card he wasn't too familiar with, me. He hoped for an outcome but wasn't sure of its result.

"If you are truly seeking a clean start to be worthy of me then make yourself worth my affections with your true feelings Lexis, not your planned scheme, how do you really feel and what do you really want? Honestly, no lies, white or black, just the plain unadulterated, open, vulnerable truth. You owe it to me and yourself," I say looking him straight in the eyes.

"You," He says and my defenses come crashing down. All it took was that one word, You.

"All I want and need is you, I messed up the beginning of our story but if you allow me, I'll rewrite it and be someone worthy of your affections. I found my home in you Hera, I found life in you and without you I'll be lost, dead. You gave me a reason to live again, made me taste the beauty of life and I don't ever want to loose that. All I need and want is you, you're all I ever needed and will ever need. If I have you I have all that I need, I have everything," He says as a tear falls from my eyes.

"You're too emotional," He says wiping the tear.

"Whose fault is that?" I say and chuckle.

He places his head against my forehead and let's out a deep breath.

"Its back," He says.

"What?" I ask.

"My breath," He says.

"It never left," I state as I bring my lips to his.

***
Ehhhhh what's up doc?

Lol so I don't like Lexis lol he still needs to earn my love maybe in the next chapters that follow eh? Lol
But anyways I loved this part...did anyone get it? :

"Its back" he says.

"What?" I ask.

"My breath" he says.

"It never left" I state as I bring my lips to his.

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