Fear Games

7. Road to Romance

One Year Ago

There was a knock on my door, waking me from my slumber. I almost didn't get it, but decided I probably should. I sighed, pulling myself out of bed to open my bedroom door. To my surprise, Damien stood there, watching me.

"Uh, hey," I said uncomfortably. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked.

I didn't really want him to. Actually, that was a lie--I really wanted him to. That was the problem. "Um, sure, I guess. Is something wrong?"

He stepped into the room and walked over to my bed. I sat down next to him, but tried not to get too close. Not after I discovered how I really felt about him.

"My Dad and I..." Damien started. "We got into a fight."

"Again?" I asked. "How bad was it this time?"

"He...he hit me again," Damien said. "I guess I deserved it, but still."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Is there anything I can do?"

Damien shook his head. "Not really. I just don't know what to do. I'm so freaking lost right now." He placed his head in his hands, sighing. "What should I do?"

I had no idea. "You can stay here for now if you want," I said. "But you'll have to sleep on the floor. Either that or you can have the bed."

Damien's eyes met mine, and for a moment, it felt as though we were the only two people on the planet. "Why can't we sleep in the same bed? It's big enough. We always used to when we were kids."

My stomach churned at the thought. "I'll sleep on the floor."

***

Mondays were never my favorite, but I loathed it even more after the events of the weekend. I spent a majority of the day ignoring Matt, who kept trying to text me and get me to talk to him. When lunch rolled around, I hid away in the bathroom, hoping that would keep him off my back.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see Matt. I just had to keep him safe. If I kept him out of the picture, there was a good chance the killers would stay away from him. At least I hoped.

The school had grief counselors to help students get of the loss of Clary. It was sort of funny--in not-humorous way--just how many people appeared to be grieving. When someone dies, everyone suddenly starts to pretend they actually care. No one ever really hated Clary, but we were the only friends she really had.

When school ended, I headed home to find Matt's car in my driveway. I almost kept driving instead of pulling up, but it wasn't like I had anywhere to go. I pulled up beside him, parked the car, and got out to head inside.

"Josh, wait," Matt said, getting out of his car to follow me. "We should talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," I said. I reached for the door handle on my door, swung it open a bit harder than anticipated, and stepped inside. Just as I was about to close it on Matt's face, he stepped inside, too.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked.

Did he really have to ask such a question? Ignoring him, I walked into the kitchen to look for a snack.

"Josh," Matt said, following me. "You can't ignore me forever."

"Of course I can," I said.

"Why won't you answer my question?"

I groaned. "God, you don't get it, do you? Everyone around me keeps getting hurt. Damien, Haven, Clary. Brandon's now in the hospital because of me and--"