Chapter Ten

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"Welcome back."

Everything in front of me is blurry when I open my eyes. It takes a few seconds for the room to come into focus. I'm in the foyer, lying on the floor. Noah is kneeling beside me.

I push myself into a sitting position, maybe a little too fast. My body pitches to the side and my head comes dangerously close to the floor again, my blood seeming to rush up to my temples all at once. Noah's arm shoots out to steady me.

"What happened?" I croak, letting him pull me back up. My skin feels clammy.

"Funny you should ask."

I don't see how there could be anything funny about blacking out and finding myself on the floor. My brain and my voice aren't cooperating too well, though, and it feels like way too much work to tell him this.

"Why don't we get you outside for some air?" he suggests. "That might help."

I nod and let him help me to my feet, swaying a little as I stand. He waits until he's sure I have my balance and then leads me down the hall and through the living room, outside to the balcony. I sit down on the loveseat, stretching out and leaning my head against the cushions. That's better. It feels less like the world is spinning. Noah takes the chair across from me.

I breathe in the cool air, looking past Noah and out into the darkened sky. I haven't seen stars since leaving Boston, since the city lights here block out almost everything but the moon. But there's a place just outside of the city where it's dark enough to see thousands or maybe even millions of stars and the trails of stardust in between them. It was my favorite place to go when I was Anna. I haven't been back since then.

"How are you feeling?" Noah asks.

I squeeze my eyes shut against the dull throbbing in my head. "Not like I could leap a tall building or anything, but better. My head hurts a little."

"It will for a while. That happens when your energy gets that weak."

So that's what this is all about. Nobody ever told me weak energy could make me pass out. I open my eyes and look at Noah.

"How did my energy get that low?" I ask.

"From connecting with Riley's energy. That's my best guess, anyway." He stretches his legs out in front of him, shifting down in the chair. Great, he's getting comfortable. It looks like this conversation is going to take a while.

"Is that supposed to happen?"

"It can. His energy has more of a pull on you than anyone else you've spent time with in The Before, because you're here to help him. You just connect that way. You'll give him as much energy as he needs, but his energy is naturally lower than yours since he's not a second-timer. That means when your energy connects with his and you make his energy stronger, your energy gets weaker."

"And you couldn't have told me this before I went out with him tonight?" It's not like Noah has had eighteen years to mention it or anything. No big deal.

He ignores the sarcasm in my voice. "I didn't know your energy would get this weak, or that it would happen so fast. The way you connect to The Life-After to level out your energy might not be enough for you anymore."

I squint at him. Unless there's something he hasn't explained how to do over the years, I'm pretty sure I have zero control over how I connect. The Life-After takes care of that part. Maybe he means how often I do it.

"You want me to connect more than once a day?" I ask.

"I want you to connect a little more strongly."

"Do you mean you want me to stay connected for longer?" I can't see how I'd do that, either, since I just get disconnected when my energy is where it needs to be.

He shakes his head. "There's someone I want you to see who can help. Her name is Amarleen."

"Is she another advisor?" I ask. Let's hope not. Two wardens is exactly what I don't need.

"She's a teacher at Diamond Lotus Yoga. I want you to join her class."

I watch his face. If he's pulling my leg, then he's an even better actor than I was when I was Anna.

"You want me to go to a yoga class to make my energy stronger?" I ask the question slowly, trying to make sure he means what I think he does. "Like hot rooms crammed with people in spandex, sweating it out to downward dog and trying to out-leg-lift the person beside them while they pretend to be one with the world?" My eyebrows are so high, I'm surprised they haven't shot off my forehead.

He chuckles. "It's not the kind of yoga you're thinking of. You'll understand when you get there."

"Whatever you say." I think it would be easier if I just had a way of not letting Riley's energy connect with mine, or at least not as strongly. What do I know, though?

"That won't work," Noah answers. I guess he heard that. "You can't avoid this, even though you want to."

I bite down on the inside of my lip, trying to squash the words I can feel on the tip of my tongue. I'm too tired to have this argument with him right now.

Noah told me once that the last weeks of my life as Anna imprinted on my energy and left a dead spot there that I still carry with me. I know it's there because I can see the spot he means, just over my heart. It's like a scar, always without sparks of color. He thinks what caused the scar also makes me avoid getting close enough to someone for our energy to connect, and that I'm protecting myself. He won't believe I'm trying to protect other people from missing me when I'm gone.

"Okay," I tell him. I'll keep the peace tonight. He looks satisfied with my answer, for now at least.

"I think you should go connect for a while now, and then try to get some sleep." It's more than a thought, though. He has that stern-college-professor tone in his voice, which makes it a command. I used to think he was a teacher during his time in The Before, but then I asked him about his life there. He told me he was his village's matchmaker, and I still haven't figured out if he was kidding or not. Noah has never really struck me as the lovey-dovey romantic type.

I watch him get up from his chair. He's about to leave, I know, but there's something else on my mind. I open my mouth and then pause, closing it again. Maybe bringing this up isn't such a good idea.

"You have a question for me?" Too late. Either he was watching me, or he heard my thoughts. I'd bet good money he already knows what I'm going to ask.

"I thought I saw David's energy tonight," I tell him.

It's so quiet, I can hear the breeze rustling the trees. Noah turns his back to me and walks over to the balcony railing. I can't see his face when he speaks.

"You know nothing of David exists anymore." There's the stern professor voice again.

"I know." I don't, but I should have known this would be his answer.

"Is that all?" He still has his back to me. I look past him, out at the city skyline.

"No. I'd like to know what Riley needs help with."

"You'll figure it out soon enough."

I try not to roll my eyes. "You're impossible. You know that, don't you?"

He turns away from the railing and tips his fedora at me. I can tell it's the end of our conversation for tonight.

"Just doing my job," he says. "Sleep well tonight." Then he's gone.

I rest my head against the back of the loveseat, listening to the crickets chirp from somewhere below. Noah always leaves me with more questions than answers. One day soon, I'm going to run out of time to figure the answers out on my own.

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