100 of the rules that Tony decided to give Thor this one time. (Fun game: See if you can spot how Tony was getting progressively more drunk as time goes on! :D)
1. DO NOT WORSHIP THE GLOWING BOX OF LIGHT.
2. THE GLOWING BOX OF LIGHT IS CALLED A 'TELEVISION'.
3. REFER TO THE TELEVISION AS 'TV'.
4. THE COMPUTER MOUSE IS NOT A MYTHICAL BEING.
5. DO NOT EAT THE CARPET.
6. 'SPOTIFY' IS NOT A RARE DISEASE YOU CAN CATCH.
7. PHONE NOTIFICATIONS DO NOT MEAN THAT THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE.
8. THE LAWNMOWER IS ALSO NOT A MYTHICAL FORCE.
9. HEADPHONES DO NOT WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS.
10. SHOELACES ARE NOT IN THE SAME CLASS AS SPAGHETTI.
11. SPAGHETTI CAN NOT BE USED AS SHOELACES.
12. BOOKSHELVES ARE NOT THE SAME THING AS REFRIGERATORS.
13. APPLES ARE NOT FOR THROWING AT CARS.
14. SLEEP IS NECESSARY.
15. PHONES ARE ALSO NOT FOR THROWING AT CARS, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS AN APPLE PHONE.
16. PEOPLE ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD.
17. TIN FOIL IS NOT A MONSTER.
18. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LET STEVE NEAR MEMES.
19. PENCIL ERASERS ARE NOT VEGETABLES.
20. FIND DRESSES OF THE DISNEY IN THE CORRECT SIZE.
21. PEOPLE MUST SLEEP AT NIGHT. THEY ARE NOT NOCTURNAL.
22. MEMES ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF CURRENCY.
23. PAPER CLIPS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF CURRENCY, EITHER.
24. IT DOES NOT COUNT AS A CARD TRICK IF YOU JUST DROP MJOLNIR ON THE DECK OF CARDS AND RUN AWAY REALLY FAST.
25. DON'T TICK OFF NATASHA. EVER. LIKE, SERIOUSLY. DON'T.
26. MAPLE SYRUP IS NOT A DIFFERENT FORM OF WATER.
27. NATASHA IS SCARY AND DON'T MESS WITH HER. YES, THIS NEEDS TO BE STATED TWICE.
28. GLITTER WILL NEVER GO AWAY, SO DON'T POUR IT IN YOUR DRESSER. YOU ALREADY- OH. WELL. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SPARKLES, MR. TOTALLY GROWN UP SPACE GUY.
29. ANIME WILL TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE.
30. POPTARTS ARE GOOD, BUT THEY ARE NOT TO BE THROWN AT INNOCENT BYSTANDERS WALKING DOWN THE STREET.
31. YOU CAN'T FRAME SOMEBODY'S ACTUAL FACE IN A PICTURE FRAME.
32. A SKYSCRAPER ISN'T GOING TO BRAINWASH YOU.
33. DON'T EAT ALL THE CINNAMON.
34. OR ALL OF THE SUGAR, EITHER.
35. LAMPSHADES AREN'T HATS.
36. HEY THOR, THIS IS HOW YOU DRINK HERE WHEN YOU HAVE TO TALK TO CLUELESS PEOPLE FROM ANOTHER PLANET! YOU TAKE THE BEER AND YOU DRINK IT! ALL OF IT! YEAH! FUUUUN!
37. DON'T TAKE A PHONE BOOK AND CALL EVERY NUMBER YOU CAN.
38. OK, NETFLIX IS PRETTY DARN MAGICAL. I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT YOU ON THAT ONE.
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Avengers Texts
FanfictionSteve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more Here is yet another Avengers Texts, so you can find out how completely irresponsible they all are in their spare time. (I wrote this so long ago an...
