The Hilarious Romance Between The Brute and The Flea

Izaya's Absolutely Genius Plan!

Izaya sat at his desk solemnly, his hands holding his chin while his eyes stared at nothing in particular. Someone who had never heard of Izaya (though that would be nearly impossible) might think that the raven haired man was daydreaming about something unimportant and may even conclude that he was a slacker. However, anyone who even shared a small conversation with the tiny male would understand just how absolutely intelligent he was, as well as extremely dangerous. Izaya's crimson orbs were narrowed thoughtfully, as he was deep in thought. Across the room and stationed on his couch sat his assistant Namie, who watched him carefully and silently. She knew how severe the consequences were if she interrupted the insane man's thinking process. After many hours of absolute quiet Izaya stood up quickly, with the usual silly smile splayed across his face. "Of course! Why didn't I think of this before?"

"What idiotic plan have you come up with now?" Namie spoke sarcastically, secretly relieved that the waiting was over. She frowned at Izaya, wondering what had gotten him so excited. Luckily, Izaya was more than happy to tell his brilliant plan. "You see Namie, the brute is always coming after me for various reasons right?" He walked out from behind his desk and over to Namie. She inched away, trying not to show her employer the nervousness in her eyes. "I'm sorry, you mean when you show up in Ikebukuro, intentionally piss him off, and then he chases you?" Namie said dryly.

"Exactly! Well, I've grown tired of this game. I no longer want to fight him so I've been trying to think of a way to stop this. It's not like I can just stay out of Ikebukuro, as that's home to the most interesting humans~!" Izaya gave a light hearted grin, though his eyes were fixed on Namie, analyzing her every move. He watched as his assistant shifted uncomfortably, while her face was a mask of coldness. Honestly, she really is the worst at hiding her true thoughts. He thought to himself, enjoying her discomfort. "So I came to this conclusion! Basically, if I appeal to Shizu-chan's more human side through a civilized conversation then he'll be too confused to fight me and will agree since he will know I don't plan on messing with him anymore." Izaya finished proudly, happy with himself. Namie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "It took you that long to come up with simply talking to him. But then again," Namie smirked, "You always do get nervous whenever it involves him. Always trying to get his attention but only for a quick chase. Pathetic, really." Izaya turned away from her, though she could swear she saw the informant's eyes darken with a look of pure fury.

"Ice woman, I've already told you I'm a god. I can't fathom the idea of having a conversation with Shizu-chan because he's such a lowly beast. Really, you should use your brain more." Izaya spoke calmly. He grabbed his trademark coat, slipping in a few knives. Just in case of course. When he turned back to Namie, his usual smile had returned and his eyes were gleaming with anticipation and excitement. "I'm leaving now, so I don't need you for the rest of the night. Go home." Izaya skipped to the door and flung it open, practically dancing out. Ah Shizu-chan, I really can't wait