Let's Get Physical.

Can't Deal With This Pain..

Taraji POV

I couldn't even sleep at all last night. I just cried and cried and cried. I can't honestly believe that terrence even cried with me. Our eyes were puffy and Our faces were red. It's pretty hard for someone to deal with the fact that They were pregnant without even knowing it, but yet the baby died when they got shot by a jealous ex. I don't think anyone can easily out up with that. "Don't cry baby...I'm crying too but baby I hate to see you cry...I'm Sorry that we weren't able to get the chance to meet out little boy or girl.." he said kissing me as i cried in the pillow and he kissed me cheek. I rose up and looked at him, kept a straight face for about 3 seconds and went right back into crying. "Terry that just isn't fair! It's not!" I shouted as he kissed me head. "Baby I know it isn't fair I mean look at me I'm crying too." He said wiping a tear from his face and a tear from mine as well. "Come on baby do you want to try and make a baby?" he asked me and my eyes widened. "Terrence you both know that neither one of us is ready for that" I said and he sighed. "I know. And you and me both know What I have to do first so that it'll be...better planned." he said and i knew he was talking about the marriage. "Terry I'm not ready for that eit- "baby I think you are ready but it's just the situations that have been going on have made you think that you're not. I just really want you to meet me at the aisle baby.." he said and i sighed. "Terry I'm sorry.." I said shaking my head and wiping tears. "Baby don't apologize...I Just have to do better.." he said and i smiled but immeditatedy went back into crying. He sighed and hugged me but i pushed him off of me and Just slowly walked into the bathroom. He got up and walked after me. Once he came inside the bathroom I was staring myself in the mirror and just shaking my head. Terrence started to undress me and himself and once he did he took me into the shower. "I know you don't feel like doing anything...I understand" he told me sighing. I just sighed back and just stood underneath the water. I'm so depressed that I Don't even care about life anymore. I don't even want to live...i should die like the baby did. "It's ok baby...one day we'll make a baby ok?" he asked me. "We already did!" I shouted at him. He just walked over and hugged me. "We'll make another then." he said kissing My head. Once we got out of the shower i slowly dried myself off and didn't even out any clothes on, I just plopped face first onto the bed carelessly. There's just no point anymore. I hate life so much now. Terrence came in a and started rubbing on my shoulders and i sighed. After a while i started getting cold so I just threw some clothes on. I stood across the room from terrence and i Just started breaking down again...i couldn't help it.

"Aww baby" said terrence sniffing too. "Terry..what are we going to do about nick?" I asked nervously. He started at me and shook his head. "What do you want me to do?" he asked me. I looked at him then looked away. "You want me to kill him?!" he asked loudly. "Shh Shut up I never said that!" I shouted and he made a face. "Sorry Baby damn!" he said back and i sighed. "But I wouldn't hate you of you did it.." i said shaking my head. "What the hell!?" he shouted. "You said yourself that you were going to kill him!" I shouted. "But I didn't think you would agree!" He shouted back. "He killed our Damn child! And shot me along with it! And called me a virgin bitch and tried to hit me and treated me wrong! Im not a killer but he's defidently somebody who deserves it!" I said started to cry again. Terrence came over and hugged me. "Ok I'll kill him.." He said into my ear and i pushed him. "Terrence you're really going to do it?!" I shouted. "We'll what the hell do you expect me to do! You said kill him!" he shouted. "Oh my god i must be on my period.." I said sighing. "You're not. I checked the calendars you start Wednesday." He told me. "Oh. We'll just don't do it ok forget about it...sorry.." I said sighing and sniffing. Terrence sighed and hugged me. "I'll see what i can do. I'm not saying I'm going to kill him and I'm not saying I'm not. I just gotta think right quick.." he told me and i slowly and nervously nodded...