Double Trouble

Anniversary for Two

Murphy and I were official over. Words had been said now that couldn't be taken back, and I cried. My sister offered to have Mac go bet him up, but she was pregnant now. I didn't want him going to jail and losing his job. Connor was my rock threw all of it. He and Murphy weren't on the best of terms either. I couldn't help but fee guilty about that too. I had come between them. Connor assured me that Murphy did this himself, but I hated when they fought. I would give them both up so they would be best friends again.
Today was no different. As I got out of bed and looked at the calendar on the wall I realized it was exactly one year today that we had met. The three of us. I cried. I wanted to spend this day with my guys. My heart hurt as I knew I wouldn't see Murphy again, today, of all days. Today we should be celebrating.
Connor had been mostly living with me now. He had come in to see me leaning against the wall. He came behind me. He knew this was hard on me. He really understood. Even though it had been a couple months now. I told him that the pain hadn't gone away yet. He nodded and pulled me close. He never acted jealous or hateful tward my feeling for Murphy. He was better then I felt I deserved.
"Las," he said lowly as I turned and burried my head in his chest. I shook my head, I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was crying about Murphy again. I was in a way.
"No, today's a year," I said lowly turning my head to the side so he could hear me, but not lifting it from his chest. He held me tighter.
"I'm sorry lass. I'll make t'e day as special as I can for ya," Connor said with determination in his voice.
I felt sick. Missing Murphy was just taking it out of me. I was throwing up. My moods changed quickly and I cried a lot. I didn't have much of an appetite lately and I slep a lot more then normal. I sighed.
"Thank you hun, but if you don't mind, I just want to be close to you," I said pulling my arms around Connor tighter. He kissed my head. It was Saturday and we had no plans as far as I knew. Connor lead me back to the bed and we laid down. I cuddled in to his chest and tried to fight the nausious feeling that was making itself know quickly.
"Las," he whispired. I didn't move.
"Hum?" I asked not wanting to move or talk at this point. I was losing my batting with trying not to throw up.
"Ya sure ya don't wanna do somet'in' later?" Connor asked still talking lowly. Up till now I was able to hide my sickness from him, but this morning I didn't think I was going to be able to. I didn't move I didn't want to speak. I sighed gently. I knew if I moved even a fraction I would throw up.
"Las?" Connor asked again, shifting. That's when I jumped up and darted to the bathroom.
After emptying my stomach. Brushing my teeth, washing my face and fixing my hair. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror. I sighed. I looked like crap, I felt like crap and just wanted to go back to bed. I walked back to my room to see a very conserned looking Connor.
"Las, ya ok?" He asked as I came back and crawled beside him. I looked up at him.
"Yeah, fine. I guess I'm just taking this Murphy thing to an extreme. I mean I'm not trying to, I love you. I really do. I'm still just as happy being with you as I was when we first got together. I guess. I don't know, I feel like something, someone is missing," I told Connor. He looked at me a log time. Connor had confessed his love for me a while ago and I was happy to tell him I felt the same. My feelings hadn't changed in the last few months, and neither had his. If anything we had grown closer.
"Aye, las. Feel t'e same way," Connor said as he pulled me in to his arms. Of course he did, he and Murphy were twins, two half of a whole. I sighed as I snuggled in to his chest.
"How long ya been gettin' sick?" Connor broke the silance again after a little while. I looked up at him and thought.
"I don't know a couple weeks," I guessed thinking back to when I started to feel rundown and sick. Connor looked down at me puzzled. I looked up at him lost.
"Antyt'hin' else?" he asked, after a moment. I thought about it.
"Tired, no appetite, I guess moody. I think I'm jut not taking this break up well," I told him. He looked at me another long moment.
'I t'ink ya need ta see a doctor," he said lowly. I looked up at him. He was probably right, I was depressed and should get some help for it. Before I went a suicidal or something. I sighed again.
"You think I'm over reacring?" I asked. Connor looked at me with his brows pulled together.
"No las, didn't say t'at. I t'ink ya should find out why ya are gettin' sick," he told me. I looked at him.
"I know why. I'm over reacting about this break up. I need to just focus on the amazing boyfriend I have and forget about that asshole!" I told him. Connor looked at me a little surprised.
"If t'at's t'e say ya feel why ya gettin' sick?" He asked. I looked at him had.
" I don't know," I admited. He leaned in and kissed me.
"So stubborn, an' ya never listen ta me," he chuckled. I looked up at him more annoyed.
"What do you mean? I listen to you," I said not bothering to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
"Ya ever go ta t'e doctors an'get on birt' control?" He asked. I looked at him.
"What?!" I asked annoyed again. What the hell was he talking about birth control at a time like this for? Connor held my gaze, but didn't say anything more. I then realized j hadn't had a monthly in a while. I jumped up and pulled the calendar off the wall. Flipping back to the last marking it to track my menstrual cycle. It had been about two months, about the time we had had our last time of us all together. Me, Murphy and Connor. I looked over at Connor shocked. He looked at me knowing and nodded.
"Ya might be depressed las, but I'm sure ya might be pregnant too," he said plainly. I looked at him.
"If I am, I don't know who's it is," I said showing him when the last marked the calendar. He nodded.
"Does it matter?" He asked me. I smiled at him. Pulling him in to a tight hug.
"No, not to me. I'll love it anyways, but is this what you want? Are you ready for this?" I asked a million different feeling ran threw me. Connor smiled and leaned down to kiss my lips.
"Aye, las ready for anyt'in' long as I'm wit' ya," he smiled. I smiled up at him and we shared a long slow kiss. Connor then pulled me back to the bed and held me close to him. It was perfect, just cuddling with him. Untill he looked down at me, I looked up at him, questioning. He smiked as he leaned in and kissed me, laying me down. His hands moved up my body. I moaned slowly he smiled in to our kiss. When we broke I looked up at him.
"Well I mean I guess there's not much else that could be done," I giggled as I smiled up at him. He smiled down at me.
"It's our annivery las," he reminded me. I smiled, the anniversary of when I met the two amazing Irish men that I loved, but I could only spend the day with one. I pushed the feeling of sadness aside as I smiled up at Connor.
"Very true," I agreed as I kissed him again.