Chapter 4: Kentucky-Fried Something

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"The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes 'sight-seeing'." – Daniel J. Boorstin

•••

"But why can't we keep going?" I huffed, unable to completely suppress how irritated I was. "It's not that dark yet. This is a complete waste of perfectly good driving-time!"

"Someone needs a nap, methinks!" Della sang, her eyes glued to the road.

"Della, I'll even take a turn," I begged, "We don't have time to—"

"—Geeze, Jason, you don't think I was intending for us to drive nonstop for this whole trip, did you?"

I shifted in my seat. "Uh... Yeah?"

"Not in this car, we don't," she snorted in response, ignoring my disappointed groan. "In this Bug, we take breaks and plenty of them!"

"Really?" I gasped in mock surprise, "I hadn't noticed. Though stopping eight times between Ohio and Kentucky hardly counts as plenty, don't you think?"

"You're exaggerating, Jason."

"No, I'm not. I counted."

"You counted how many times I stopped to use the restroom?"

"But that's the thing; you couldn't just use the restroom! We had to stop to look at postcards, get drinks, have lunch, and plan how we would take over the world with nothing but a bag of Skittles."

"Mmm... Skittles," she sighed as she bypassed my complaints. "But we're still stopping, Jason. Look at the time. We need to eat something."

"Oh, so now you have to follow the clock to know when you're hungry?" I attempted once more to let her know that I didn't approve of the plan, but I only wasted my breath.

"Pfffttt... No, I follow my stomach. Aaaaannndddd a really cool foodie-app that gives me updates on all of the best diners and dives in the area! Like the one I'm taking you to right now..."

"Foodie-app?" I raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"What can I say? Food is life. The unhealthier, the better!"

I observed her closely. This was unexpected. "Really?"

"Yep," she popped the P, "Life's too short to not enjoy good food."

Without meaning to, I chuckled in amusement. That was totally unexpected.

Don't most girls normally have a weird relationship with food? I mean, during highschool and college, it seemed that the majority tried to pretend that they never ever actually ate anything. And if they weren't, they were on some kind of idiotic diet. When any of us guys were around, these girls would either consume the barest amount of "healthy" food they could, or skip eating in front of us altogether. And I never understood why. It was stupid and completely illogical. Of course they needed to eat! They were only human, after all. I couldn't comprehend why they thought we guys would think otherwise.

Fast-forward a few years, and here was crazy little Della Rae, informing me that she keeps an app on her phone designated only to finding restaurants with fatty foods and sickening sweets. It was unlike anything I had ever heard from a member of the female race. And the weird thing? I kind of admired her for it.

Yes, Jason Lovett, the self-proclaimed resident-jerkface, found something to admire about the purple-maned unicorn before the day was over.

Big deal... It's not like I like her or anything.

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