Breathe

nineteen

[ cole ]

Weeks passed and I still felt utterly miserable. 

It truly was torture. I didn't feel like myself anymore. It was like there was an entirely new person inside of me whose head only wrapped around one subject- Nora Nightingale. 

She was long gone, though. 

After admitting how much I missed her at the lunch table that day, she walked away. It was distressing for me, but I wouldn't have thought all hope was lost if what had happened next was just something I had imagined. 

I couldn't take Georgia and Spencer staring at me, so I followed her. I thought I could finally be her prince, which is something I had never wanted to be for anyone before. 

All of those thoughts soon turned to distant dreams when I found her. 

She ran into that boy that was there before me. I saw it all unfold from my spot behind the water fountain. 

She started talking to him. He ruffled his hair, looking very much like a nervous wreck. She smiled that smile of hers that held a thousand stars between her lips. 

They walked off together. I stood by myself. 

I still can't understand why she left me for him. After all, I think I recognized him as Mumbling Miles, and I don't know why any girl would want to talk to him.                                              

Nora was too spectacular for that.

Even now, as I walk down the street, I can see them sitting across from each other in a cafe. She holds a mug in her frail hands, and I wonder what she ordered. Black coffee? Some kind of fancy tea? I may never know. 

I try my best to make my legs move faster, but I can't escape her. Everything reminds me of Nora Nightingale. She is in a part of every crack on the sidewalk, every leaf flying through the air, and every pebble that is out of its place. She is every letter in every mailbox. She is every drop of rain. She is the sound of laughter on my saddest days. 

She is everything good that makes up the world, and I will always remember her even when she's not next to me.

I just wish I could have another shot. 

"You guys go on without me. Just give me a minute." 

I recognize the voice instantly and start to back up without realizing it. 

Derek smirks and enters the cafe, and his eyes are locked on the same booth mine gazed at for too long. 

I cringe as he gets close to her, propping his elbows down in the center of the table. 

Suddenly, my distress for myself turns into fear for her. 

He says a few things I can't quite make out and stands up straight. Just before I think he's about to leave, he intentionally knocks Nora's mug into her lap. 

The steaming drink spills all over her before rolling onto the ground and shattering into a million shards. 

Eyes follow the loud noise, but Derek doesn't care. He never has. He strolls out of the shop with as much confidence as before.

My shock causes me to just stand and gape. He really is awful. 

The bell on the door of the cafe rings again and I look to see who it is. 

Mumbling Miles. 

I notice his hands shake a little, but he doesn't stop walking. 

He grabs the back of Derek's collar and pulls him backwards. 

"Hey, uh, just hold-d on a second-d."  He waves his finger in the air, trying to pretend to be tough. It doesn't work very well as Derek just laughs. 

"I-I think you, um, owe her an apology." He glances towards Nora. 

Derek spits on his shoe. "I don't apologize to worthless nobodies." 

Miles's face turns red. He starts to say something else, but Derek gives him a good shove. 

He regains his balance and throws a misbalanced punch. 

Derek gets mad and hits him hard. Miles ends up on the ground easily. 

Nora rushes out and grabs his hands, checking for scratches and bruises. 

Derek laughs once more and leaves. 

I start to walk up to them to see if he's alright but stop when I hear their voices. 

"Nora, I'm sorry. I'm just not strong enough to protect you." He stares at the ground. 

"Oh, I don't care about that." Her voice is soft. "Nobody has ever stood up for me like that before." She hugs him tightly. 

I walk away before I'm noticed. 

She's right. 

I never stood up for her even when I saw Derek do worse. 

I never saved her.

He's good for her. He'll show her love like I never could.

All I want is for her to be happy. He can finally give her that.