-Due to a small incident that involved an attempted crossover, a severe breach of the fourth wall, a bat in a t-shirt, and an encyclopedia, a certain Avenger named Bruce (aka, the only logical one of the bunch at the time) has deleted Part 44 of this story to prevent a Mr. Tony Stark from destroying multiple small moons in the next galaxy over.-
1. DOORS ARE NOT SURFBOARDS.
2. THE COMPUTER SPEAKERS DO NOT BROADCAST SECRET SIGNALS TO PEOPLE ON THE MOON.
3. I DON'T HAVE A UNICORN IN THE ATTIC. I'M SORRY. YEAH, I KNOW. I WANT A UNICORN, TOO.
4. YOU CAN'T MAKE PIETRO RUN ALL THE WAY TO PARIS JUST SO HE CAN BRING YOU YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF ICE CREAM.
5. ON THAT NOTE, YOU'VE GOT TO STOP MAKING WANDA USE HER POWERS TO GET THE POPTARTS OUT OF THE TOASTER. YOU'RE A GOD OR SOME SHIT. YOU CAN GET THE POPTART OUT OF THE TOASTER BY YOURSELF.
6. ICE CREAM CAN BE BREAKFAST IF YOU WANT. SURE.
7. CLINT DOES NOT HAVE A SECRET TWIN ELF BROTHER NAMED LEGOLAS.
8. YOU CAN NOT CUT UP THE CURTAINS TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE BLANKET FORT.
9. IF YOU SEE A SPIDER ON THE WALL, YOU CAN'T THROW MJOLNIR AT THE WALL AND SHRIEK. IT KILLS THE WALL.
10. THE SMASHING PUMPKINS AREN'T A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT GO AROUND ON HALLOWEEN AND SMALL ALL THE JACK-O-LANTERNS.
11. PEOPLE NAMED JACK DO NOT BECOME A PUMPKIN ON HALLOWEEN, EITHER.
12. THOR, JACK FROST ISN'T THE PUMPKIN FROM CINDERELLA. JUST... JUST NO.
13. FALL OUT BOY ISN'T A GROUP OF SKY-DIVERS.
14. IF THE VENDING MACHINE IS BROKEN, DON'T GET ANGRY AND THROW IT INTO THE CEILING. THAT DOESN'T HELP ANYTHING.
15. PETER QUILL IS NOT A TYPE OF PEN.
16. A GLASSES CASE DOESN'T HOLD WINE GLASSES.
17. AIRPLANES AREN'T MADE OF RECYCLED COLLEGE ENTRY ESSAYS. WHAT THE HECK.
18. YOU HAVE TO STOP RICK ROLLING PEOPLE. I'M NOT KIDDING. IT'S GETTING OLD.
19. THE TRASH BINS WON'T EAT YOU. PROBABLY.
20. HEDWIG ISN'T ACTUALLY A RARE TYPE OF VINE SNAKE. HEDWIG IS AN OWL. THE BEST OWL.
21. *FIVE MINUTES OF TONY SOBBING LOUDLY*
22. THERE ARE SOME SIMPLE STEPS TO BECOME A MAN... AND I WILL LIST THEM BELOW.
23. YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER
24. WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON
25. WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE
26. MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
27. IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER
28. THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT
29. RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL
30. AND YES, THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR DOES ACTUALLY STALK HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT.
31. PLEASE, FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP USING DINNER PLATES AS FRISBEES. NO THOR STOP-
32. FACT: THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY IS REALLY WEIRD.
33. SOMEWHERE, OUT THERE, THERE IS A DUDE WONDERING ABOUT THE MISSION REPORT, DECEMBER 16, 1991
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Texts
FanfictionSteve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more Here is yet another Avengers Texts, so you can find out how completely irresponsible they all are in their spare time. (I wrote this so long ago an...
