Spencer Reid One Shots

Ashes Like Snow

Ashes falling like snow

As the wind blows the last breathes upon the breeze

Spencer looked at his wife sitting there on the small bench and staring at the new pile of soil that had recently been filled in. Jennifer was sat next to her, holding her hand and rubbing it softly.

He needed to get her home but he didn’t know the words to say to her to get her leave. He didn’t want to leave either, but there was no use staying here. It wouldn’t change anything.

His other colleagues were surrounding him, the last to leave. He knew they’d stay with him until the very end if he asked them to. They’d been there for him since that first morning he’d called into work, he couldn’t come in, something had happened. They’d been devastated for him and for themselves.

They’d loved her too, even though they’d barely had a chance to get to know her.

Ashes falling like snow

All the people you’ll never know that you brought to their knees

Spencer blamed himself and she blamed herself despite the fact that all of the medical professionals, all of their friends, and family had told them that was nothing that either of them could have done. In recent years the percentage of SIDS related deaths had decreased but it was still something that happened.

Just no one ever thought it would happen to them.

He replayed the memories of that morning over and over in his head. The baby hadn’t woken since her 2am feed and his wife had gone in to check on her, letting out a panicked call for Spencer which sent him running. The next few hours were a blur, a blur of doctors and tears, and her falling to her knees when they tried to take the lifeless body from her arms to take to the morgue.

Ten weeks. That was all they’d had. Nine months of waiting for their daughter to be born and they’d only gotten ten weeks with her. They’d had a daughter and now… they didn’t.

Ooo-ooo

Won’t you meet me in the morning?

Ooo-ooo

You left without any warning

Ooo-ooo Oh-Oh

I don’t know where to put you now

She sniffed and wiped away another tear looking over to where Spencer was stood with their colleagues, his black coat flapping in the breeze. JJ was the only one that she’d allowed to sit with her. Because JJ knew at least some of the pain she was going through, the others didn’t. Even Spencer only knew part of her pain.

She was angry at everyone and no one all at the same time. It had taken three weeks before they’d been able to lower the tiny casket into the ground. An investigation had to be carried out with SIDS to rule out any foul play. Police officers and family liaison agents asking them question after question. Even their standing as FBI agents didn’t help, they had to go through the same rigmarole as any other family who had lost a child in this horrendous way.

People floating on down

A strange dance from the towers in the sky

People floating on down

Fire so hot at their backs; better to hit the ground

Lost a child.

What an odd way to put it, she now thought. She hadn’t lost anyone. She knew exactly where her perfectly formed ten week old daughter was. She was in the ground, in a tiny white coffin that looked barely big enough to hold a teddy bear let alone a child filled with all the love, hopes and adoration that she and Spencer had filled her with.