Project Fat Suit

Forty-Six: Consider the Elephant Stabbed

THIS IS EMBARRASSING BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO COOL BANNER TO THE RIGHT. PLEASE CLAIM IT SO I CAN GIVE YOU PROPER CREDIT. JUST SEND ME A PM TELLING ME WHAT EMAL YOU SEND TO SEND IT. SORRY.

Previously on PFS...

Liam made Serena go on a trial date with Uranus. Rena realized that she lke Uranus more and she helped a crazy, Latin speaking girl who helped her realize her fat suit is kind of a bad idea. Liam has been released from the hospital.

Chapter Forty-Six: Consider the Elephant Stabbed

I’ve never thought about what’d I do if my whole fat suit situation were made known to the school. I thought too highly about my ability to be able to keep the thing a secret and I just assumed I wouldn’t meet anyone that would try to convince me that my reason for wearing it was wrong. But now, as I sat on one of the school bathroom counters, staring at the hateful comments on the other side, it was the only thing I was thinking about.

Would anyone actually care? I knew I was a pretty infamous person amongst the students of Willow Heights, but it was only because I made it that way. So if I went back to being plain old, fat-suit less Rena, would anyone even notice the sudden loss of bitchy Rena?

Or would they do the opposite and make my life hell for pretending to be fat and mean? I didn’t know if I could handle that. Sure, I could tolerate a bunch of shit thrown my way when I was bitchy Rena, but that’s exactly it. It was bitchy Rena they were talking about, someone I specifically made up—a persona so different from my own. But now, if it was actually me they directed their hate that, I could never recover from it.

“Ew, she’s in here,” some female whispered to her friend when she saw me after she opened the door. “Let’s go somewhere else,” she suggested and shut the bathroom door.

“Didn’t want you in here anyways,” I said even though the girl probably couldn’t hear me anyways.

And there was still the matter of how I would reveal myself. Sure, it’d be nice and dramatic if I just stood in the hallway, stripped from my fat suit, and proclaimed my reasoning behind wearing it, but I probably wouldn’t get a chance to finish talking before everyone scampered off to class, scared of the consequences of being late.

Maybe I didn’t even have to reveal my secret. I could just stop being so mean to people. I’d lose my reputation eventually and live normally, but who knew how long that would take?

I wondered if me revealing all would take a toll on my friends. I still couldn’t talk to them, right? If I did, that would just kind of ruin their reputations because they would be hanging out with the ‘ex-fattie’. I knew Uranus, Holly, and Liam probably wouldn’t care out that stuff, but I didn’t want to make them suffer for my sake.

I looked at the bathroom door wearily. It’d be so easy just to walk that door, no longer carrying the weight of my fat suit. I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out my secret. I wouldn’t have to worry about being an asshole to everyone.

It’d be so easy to just take it off, but here I was just sitting on the counter thinking it over instead of actually doing it. Fear had absolutely everything to do with it. I as never good with change and discarding my fat suit would be like stepping into a whole new world—the part that terrified me most was not knowing whether it would be a worse or better world.

I sat there in the bathroom for a long time, just thinking. Thinking about what I’ve actually accomplished by wearing a fat suit and without wearing one. I thought back to Uranus, Holly, Liam, Sherry, Sam, and even Melanie. I thought about Olivia and her cheerleader friend. There was no doubt that I’ve helped so much more without my suit, and yet I was struggling.