Spencer Reid One Shots

How Soon Is Now?

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

Almost every time Spencer went out socialising with the team after work, he'd leave feeling miserable. Spending the evening watching Morgan hitting on girls, listening to Rossi using his charm on woman, and seeing guys literally falling at Emily and Penelope's feet as they danced and faux flirted together.

I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

But Spencer, Spencer would stand off to one side nursing his drink and looking down at his feet whenever a pretty girl would walk by him. Some would try to smile at him, sensing his shyness, some even feeling sorry for him. Others would giggle at his awkwardness as he'd step aside to let them pass, more often than not sloshing his drink onto the ground as he did.

Most girls though, most girls just ignored him.

The rest of the team found his shyness, his social anxieties, amusing. They'd laugh and joke when he'd stumble over his words on the odd occasion he did try to engage a stranger in a conversation. Derek would thump him on the back, telling him he wasn't doing it right. He'd get Reid a manual, he'd quip. Flirting for Dummies, or something.

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?

They didn't understand. They thought that his genius and intelligence was enough to satisfy him. That somehow, because he was smart and spent the best part of his free time reading, that he didn't crave the same love and affection that others did.

But he did. Oh god how he did.

I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Tonight was no exception to the rule. Sat at the small table the team had commandeered, he was left guarding the coats and bags of the others as they socialised and mingled, the girls dancing on the wooden dance floor that was already sticky with spilled beer. Hotch had left an hour ago needing to get home for the babysitter, leaving Spencer to his own thoughts. His own socially crippling thoughts.

He'd tried to make his excuses to leave as well, his reasons being pushed aside by Derek.

"Stay Kid, stay. See that girl across the room? She's been watching you all night. Play your cards right and you could be in luck for once."

Derek had pointed out a pretty brunette, also sat alone surrounded by bags, coats and half empty cocktail glasses. She was looking down at the table, her fingers moving swiftly. Playing on her phone; Spencer assumed. She glanced up for a second, her eyes meeting Reid's for a moment. She flashed the hint of a smile before looking away hurriedly, averting her attention back to her phone.

There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you

So Spencer had stayed, not even necessarily because the girl had smiled at him. But because staying was easier than trying to explain to Derek how unbelievably worthless and unwanted he felt when he was in a room full of people who knew how to fluently speak the language of attraction. One of the few languages Reid was sure his brain would never master.

So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die

He knew though that the night would end the same as all of the others had. Him eventually leaving, slipping out when the others were distracted enough not to care that he'd left. He'd go back to his empty apartment and stare at his degrees, framed on his living room walls. He'd been blessed with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and the ability to absorb large amounts of text by barely glancing at it. That all seemed to have come at price though, and that price was obviously finding happiness in the arms of someone else. Someone to share his life with, someone to grow old with.

His Mom was the only person who ever sensed his unhappiness, telling him that he'd find someone, probably sooner than he thought. He was her handsome and intelligent boy, in her eyes any woman was foolish to NOT want to date him.

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well when exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

Right now though, he didn't even want a date.

Just one night of experiencing a connection with someone, any physical intimacy to make him feel like he wasn't a leper.

Hell he'd even settle for just a conversation with an unfamiliar female, one that didn't end in them walking away feeling like they'd wasted five minutes of their lives listening to him ramble.

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?

But it wasn't going to happen. Not tonight. Spencer sighed and finished his drink, scanning around the bar and seeing his friends all suitably distracted. Slipping on his duffel coat and looping his message back over his shoulder, he made his way to the exit of the bar, leaving.

I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does