Spencer Reid One Shots

A Reason To Cry For One Last Time - One

It's funny how one moment of weakness can ruin everything. 

"Y/N, you'd better still be coming tonight."

You replied to Penelope, assuring her that you were even though you didn't want to.

Tonight was the Annual FBI Summer Ball and when you'd booked your ticket, you'd been intending on accompanying your then boyfriend, Spencer Reid.

Until you fucked everything up and made the biggest mistake of your life. One that you'd spent the last six months regretting as you watched him grow closer and closer to your other colleague JJ.

It was your own fault, and you deserved every piece of heartache and pain you felt. God knows, you'd caused him enough.

The night you could no longer hide your guilty conscious had been the worst night of your life. The tears that had been shed by the both of you, the yelling; you to him, begging for him to say something, to berate you, to tell you he hated you instead of just sitting there with a look of absolute disbelief on his face.

Disbelief that you'd hurt him. Because both of you had never thought that it would be possible for one of you to hurt the other the way you had.

When you'd got together nearly three years ago, you thought you'd be together forever. This was it, the love of your life. The man you were going to marry and have babies with, mini geniuses running around spouting off facts.

The team had been shipping your relationship from almost the moment you'd joined, replacing JJ as media liaison when she moved positions to profiler.

JJ.

Jennifer Jareau.

The woman who's arms you'd sent Spencer running into.

Despite her marriage to Will, you were so certain something was happening between those too. The looks they gave each other, the sly touches. The text message that had been sent accidentally to you which was clearly marked for her. You knew her relationship with Will was on the rocks and had been for a while, you just never expected her to cheat on him with Spencer, or for Spencer to become the other man. The whole thing seemed very hypocritical on his part, not that you could comment to him about that.

And not that you had any actual proof. It was just a feeling, a very strong feeling.

You'd lasted two months keeping your secret, scrubbing yourself raw in the shower almost every night, still convinced that your body would show evidence of your failings. Two months of trying to act normal around the team, around Spencer. Until one night you couldn't bear it anymore and you broke down crying, your secret spilling free.

"Why?" Was all he'd asked over and over again.

"I don't know." Had been you answer. Because you truly didn't. You loved Spencer to pieces, he was the perfect partner. Kind, funny, considerate, great in the bedroom and amazing everywhere else.

When you looked back over and over and analysed the situation, you came to the conclusion that you'd simply been lonely. You'd been injured a few months prior and had been unable to complete your usual duties, being deemed unfit to fly. This meant you and Spencer being away from each other for longer periods than you were used to, and when he was back, he seemed distant; didn't want to go out anymore and didn't want to take you to bed.

It turned out when you'd eventually confronted him about it, that he'd been getting debilitating headaches and hadn't wanted to trouble you when you were dealing with your own recovery. At that point though it was already too late. The deed had been done, the crime committed.