Spencer Reid One Shots

My Immortal (Softly - Three)

Ten months had passed. Ten long months.

You'd gone back to work after six months. During one of your 'dreams' Spencer had told you that you needed to. That it would be good for you, that it would take your mind off the misery that you were stuck in. The misery of him not being alive, the misery of you not being with him physically.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

And... It hadn't been too bad. You'd not gone out into the field again yet, but then again you rarely did anyway. Your main job was to help back at HQ, and to focus on the media, but the team had been doing that between them whilst you'd been off. Working helped you take your mind off Spencer, although the first time you'd gone in and seen his old desk, you'd lost it and had burst into tears.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

You were no longer sure that these dreams you were having were actually dreams. You always seemed drained after them and you'd noticed that since you'd started back at work, they either only occurred when you were off work the next day, or else they were only brief 'dreams' and then you'd start dreaming about something else.

You'd opened up to Derek about them, fearing that he'd laugh or find it funny but he'd just solemnly nodded and told you that he'd had them too. Spencer speaking to him and checking up on everyone, making sure they were doing okay and that he was looking out for you.

"How often do you have them?" You'd whispered to him.

"Every few weeks at least. He mainly talks about you. It's so strange because... well it's like I'm asleep but I'm not. He's talking to me in my bedroom and I'm wearing the same clothes that I went to sleep in, which well... Sometimes is nothing at all, so that's weird too. And they're so vivid, I can remember almost everything, like we'd actually had a proper conversation."

"It's like he's actually there... " You'd said and Derek had nodded.

And so you'd researched it. So many people reported be able to have conversations with their loved ones during their sleep. So many people reported having the same feeling of having someone there with them, someone watching them. So one night, when he came, you asked him.

"Spencer are you actually here?" His arms had been wrapped around you, your skin cold where he was touching you.

"Yes and no."

"Yes and no?"

"Well I'm not here physically, but I am still here. It's.... complicated."

You smiled. "You're like a ghost?"

"Erm....well. I guess I am. Why. Does it bother you?"

"No! It means.... It means I still get to be with you. But... How long for? How long will you be around?"

"For as long as you need me." Spencer had told you, nuzzling your hair and sending cool shivers down your spine.

"Always then...."

"Like I said, for as long as you need me."

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

...

Spencer had cut down his visits, well....He'd cut down making her aware of his visits. Mostly he'd stay out of sight, only showing himself when she'd had a particularly rough day at work, or if he knew she didn't have to go in the next day.