Chapter 15

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A/N: When you guys decide to kill me, just make it quick. Okay, ily and I'm sorry. :)


Stiles


Everyone was staring at Stiles. He knew they were, and he could feel their eyes burning into him, but he couldn't stop looking at the ground. He also couldn't form any actual thoughts that would help this situation. Derek had run off, people were whispering about him, and Stiles didn't know whether to run after Derek, or yell at everyone to shut up and then leave himself. He didn't want to talk about it. Stiles wasn't even sure he was into guys, so finding out Derek loved him? It was confusing. 


"Stiles?" Lydia said, placing a manicured hand on his arm. He slowly looked up at her, pressing his lips together. Every time Stiles looked at her before, he smiled and his stomach felt all weird. Now it was just different. She was still beautiful and it would've been a privilege to date her, but he didn't necessarily want to. That was what worried him. He didn't want to go out with Lydia, which meant this whole plan was for nothing. He was over her, so he didn't need to keep pretending to be gay, right? "Hey, you should go check on him. Tell him I'm really sorry, please? I didn't mean to embarrass him."


Stiles nodded, kissing her cheek. He hoped he would feel something, but still no spark, just like when he kissed her during truth or dare. It was nothing like how he thought is was going to be. It was nothing like kissing Derek. . . 


He took a deep breath and walked out of the living room, pausing at the front door to think about what he was going to say. He still wasn't sure, but he needed to talk to Derek. Stiles wasn't good at just winging things and that's what it was looking like he had to do. He slowly opened the door, hesitating before stepping out on the porch. Derek was sitting with his back to Stiles, his face in his hands. Stiles wasn't sure, but he thought Derek might have been crying. 


"You don't have to say it back," Derek mumbled, looking up as Stiles sat down beside him. His eyes were red, but there weren't tears. He probably wiped them all away before Stiles got outside. "I wasn't going to tell you yet. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I just know. . . I know how much you mean to me. I've liked you since your freshman year and dating you has been everything I imagined it would be. Stiles, I don't expect you to feel the same. You just came out and I'm your first boyfriend, so it's probably confusing, but I-"


"We should break up," Stiles said suddenly, averting his eyes to the ground in front of him. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he felt like it was right. Derek deserved someone who could feel the same way, who could make up his mind about who he loved. Stiles wasn't that person. Derek was amazing and Stiles knew that. Stiles liked being with Derek, loved kissing him and hanging out with him. It was great, but he was confused. Until he wasn't confused, Derek deserved someone else.


"W-What?" Derek stuttered. Stiles knew Derek was looking at him, but he refused to look at him. He wasn't ready to be guilted into staying, because if he looked at Derek, at his hurt expression, he wouldn't have been able to go through with this. "Stiles, we can forget about this whole day. Forget I said anything, okay? I don't want to lose you over something so small. I-"


"Being in love isn't small, Derek. It's big and it's important, and you deserve somebody who knows for sure they love you back. I'm not that person," Stiles replied, biting the inside of his cheek. He felt like crying, even though he was the one breaking up with Derek. "These past few weeks have been amazing. You have been amazing. I'm glad I was with you, but I can't stay with you. You deserve better."

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