FRESH BEGINNINGS

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Friday 17th August 2015.

Gazing up at the sky on my windowsill not really seeing anything as I try not to think about the madness of the recent events. The aching pain I've been feeling for the last couple of months, trying to put it all out of my mind.

My life is going to change. Hopefully starting today.

The wide skies up above now filled with overshadowed grey gloomy clouds, without anything living in sight, the sun was nowhere to be seen. I move my eyes downwards. The house across the street from ours is always being well kept by the gardeners. I wish I could say the same for our garden, it's in a desperate need of some love and care, but I guess the new owners will look after it. I sigh, lifting my fingers to go through my hair.

I hope there's going to be a nice garden where we are moving in tomorrow, I love to garden. I just haven't been in the mood recently.

"Here Dawn," mum's sweet voice spoke up getting my attention, I turn my head to the left. mum walks into my room, which is now filled with brown cardboard boxes. Half of them were fully ready to be moved to our new place, while the others were only half way.

Dawn is a nickname mum gave me when I was very young, she's always used it, I only allow her to call it me, everyone else calls me by my full name, Dawson.

She is 5'6 in height. Her blond curls were trying to escape from her loose ponytail she'd put in earlier, I got mum's height and figure. I followed in her footsteps and started running, now I'm even better at it than her. It's been far too long since we've been on a run together. 

I shake my head. Flatten in between her palms is a cup with a thick cloud of steam slowly rising upwards. She hands it to me.

"It's tea." She laughs, brushing a loose strand of hair from my face when she sees my confusion. "Thanks mum," I reply with gratitude, lifting the cup to my lips.

I smile at her belly, where the bump is growing. I'm going to be a sister, and with me being thirteen, I'm going to make sure to be the best sister, I can be but also to keep him safe no matter what. It's one of the only things I'm so excited about. 

looking back into mum's eyes I see pain. "What up mum, you ok?" I asked concerned, putting the cup of tea down on the floor, besides my feet, waiting for her reply.

"Oh, nothing Dawson. I just spaced out for a moment." She smiles at me, but it doesn't quite reach her now tired eyes, "I'm going to finish packing up?" She spoke with her hands laid on top of her bump, before heading out of my room.

A cute habit she has, I swear, she even sings to the bump.

She caught me once watching her, and she told me. 'The baby can hear everything we say, so when your little brother kicks or moves, the baby is saying... talk to me or I'm going to keep doing it!' I laughed at her when she said this, not believing her one bit.

Getting to my feet. I start walking around my room, picking up the items of my old life, putting them in the boxes, to start my new life, with my mum and the baby, far away from here.

Sighing, I pick up the now cold tea, and drink the rest, grimacing.

I'm going to miss my home. I was born here, my school and all the good memories I had, but now... now all that's left were and are painful memories.

My friends, I'm never going to see or talk to again. There is no point in staying in touch, because it's not like I've told any of them what's been happening in this house.

I've had to grow up in the last eight months more than I should've, but I have to be there for my mum. It's not mum's fault. It's his. I walk over to my white modern desk with difficulty, with the boxes being everywhere, to the right side of my bedroom door. Placed on my desk was a big square mirror with a bold black border.

I put my cup down softly and stared in the mirror.

I see a girl's face staring back, she has light brown hair, that went way past her shoulders, shaping her oval face, lightly tanned skin, teal green eyes, pinkie coloured lips and a straight nose. What's strange about the girl staring in the mirror is that her right eye is swelled shut, the colouring midnight black, blue and purple. A mix you'd believe to be beautiful, but yet it wasn't. It stood out more against her skin colour.

It's me. And the man who used to be at the centre of my whole world did it a week ago.

My dad.


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