Harmless Things (Jean Hobbs AU)

Part thirty-two

Jack P.O.V. 

I flicked through songs on my iPod, not finding one that I wanted to listen to, and none of them particularly grabbing my attention or satisfying me. I gave up and just listened to the one that was playing, not focusing on it too much anyway when I looked up and observed what was happening. 

I was outside on the school grounds on the field on lunch break, sitting under a tree that reminded me too much of Dean and I's 3rd kiss that was in the rain. That was our first kiss after we had gotten together, the first kiss where I only thought about how much I loved him nothing else, the worry about other peoples' opinions non-existent. 

But here, I was certain everyone knew that I was with Dean, not that I had bothered denying it. But being freely open about my relationship status brought consequences such as giving the more popular groups of people in my year an excuse to tell me (or rather, corner me and shout) their homophobic thoughts that were about as pretty as Felix's. 

Conformity is when you are influenced by other people to change your beliefs and/or behaviour to fit in with a group. I would assume that it was more common in schools, because you were stuck with these people for a long time so you had to stay in everyone’s good books and make sure that other people liked you, right? Also in schools there seemed to be a hierarchy, so the more 'populars' that liked or didn't like something or someone, the more likely everyone else swayed to their opinion. 

So I guess that's how I only got a couple of bullies to be verbally or physically assaulted at every corner I turned. Oddly enough, the physical side of it wasn't too bad. I was strong and tall enough to fight back, but with time they had learned that I couldn't stand up for myself if I was outnumbered. But still, the words were completely crushing me. I tried not to be too bothered by them at first, but it was getting worse everyday. More words, more insults, just to see how far they could push me. 

They had done it though, they had already broke me. I had become too scared to leave my house and put off going to school until the very last minute and when I got there I was just a nervous wreck who put on a good act. It was eating me alive and I couldn't put up with it anymore, I just couldn't do it. 

I saw a messy black-haired boy walking towards me and I ducked my head even though I knew it wouldn't make any difference. As Lyle came closer, I began to feel sick as a cause of nervousness. I was sitting under this tree at the back of the field to purposely avoid people for the 40-minute lunch break we had so I could minimise the amount the abuse I got and brace myself for what I would get after.

"Jack," Lyle nudged me with his elbow when he sat down next to me and I took out my earphones, turning my head to look at him. "Hey." 

"What's up?" I asked, stumbling over my words a little. 

"Dunno. Just wanted to talk, I guess." 

"Oh. Yeah, right."

"So, I heard what happened," Lyle said thoughtfully, picking at blades of grass. 

"That doesn't surprise me," I mumbled. Half of me wanted to be as blunt as I could so he would leave me alone, but at the same time I had missed his company and wanted him to stay. 

"Yeah. I mean, always knew you liked him. There's nothing with that though, I already told you that." 

I laughed humourlessly, playing with my hem of shirt, still feeling nervous. 

"God, they've really scared you, haven't they? Just ignore them Jack, they'll get bored eventually." 

"It's not that simple," I sighed.