The Explorer's Apprentice

94:Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave

Abby Bronte

People are grouped together, and nearly everybody is sobbing.  Abby sees some with happiness displayed on their faces as they huddle together with their family.  Sadly, the vast majority of the passengers are alone, or lacking someone, and sobbing as if they’re about to die.  Children, mothers, fathers, everybody seems to missing somebody.  The Carpathia is a ship of broken hearts.

Abby’s utterly alone, even without Marley.  She’s sure that Marley’s been rescued by now, but she doesn’t want to crowd her.  After all, she just watched her true love die before her eyes.  Abby’s proud of her for staying with her love until his dying minute.  She wishes that she had the courage more than anything.  She wishes she never left Eli.  Her heart aches for him, and for the fact that they’ll never be together.  Abby knows it’s her fault that she’s not with him.  If she hadn’t given into Charlotte she would be in his arms right now.  Maybe they’d be floating in the water with the millions of souls, but they would’ve died together.  She knows it.

The crew is walking about with clip boards, reporting who’s missing in each family, recording exactly who’s on the boat.  Abby could easily tell them the exact totals, as each one is ringing in her ears.  There are 527 third class passengers, 152 second class, 119 first class, 703 of the crew, and exactly half of the children on the boat who aren’t saved.  She could tell them how terribly it was handled, and how it’s going to go down in history.  She could let them know that they should take pictures, because someday they’ll be worth a lot.  If she wanted to, she could inform them that it sunk because of the lack of binoculars.  She would go down in history as the woman who knew all the facts, who helped uncover the mystery of how the unsinkable ship sunk.

But she doesn’t want anything anymore.  All she wants is Eli, and he’s beyond her reach.  She hasn’t seen him yet, and she doesn’t want to depress herself by searching for him.  It will only make her heart ache, and Abby knows she can’t take that anymore.

Almost the moment Abby thinks it, she’s proven wrong.  Her dead gaze meets bright blue eyes sparkle as they meet hers.  He looks exactly like he did last night, except more cold and tired , like everybody on the Carpathia.  But, even tired and cold, he’s just as beautiful.  Something about Eli shines, and makes Abby content no matter what he’s feeling.  Especially when she thought she’d never see him again.

Her heart lifts, and suddenly she’s beaming.  He’s not gone, somehow.  Everything’s going to be okay, Abby thinks as she runs toward him.  He’s going to wrap his arms around her, and when the ship docks they’ll get off and start a new life together.  His mother may hate her, but she doesn’t care.  After bearing through this Abby knows nothing can keep them apart.  She’ll tell him the truth, and he’ll accept her none the less. 

“Eli!” she sings, and she’s almost close enough to reach him.

 But before she can even reach him, the ship begins to shake, and Abby’s gone.