The Explorer's Apprentice

97:My Heart Will Go On

Abby Bronte

The crushing pressure against Abby’s chest is completely and utterly gone.  It was something Abby had gotten used to, but now that it’s disappeared, she’s never been so relieved to breathe in air.  A warm fabric covers her, and she swears she’s never felt something so beautiful.  Her legs aren’t bare, for the first time in what seems like ever, and instead have the almost soft jeans rubbing against her smooth, freshly shaven legs.  Her hair is soft, smooth from her shower this morning.  Even in its regularly tangled state, it’s better than it ever was on the Titanic.  It's small comforts like these that Abby’s always taken for granted, and she now swears she never will.

                All at once, a thousand voices echo throughout the auditorium.  Abby can’t clarify one from another, but she knows they belong to her classmates.  Some still scream in terror; clearly not forgetting the tragedy they were part of mere hours ago.  But most, Abby finds, are yelling in joy.  Fast, hard footsteps run across the room to meet up with someone who they came to know in 1912 better than they ever could have in 1998.  She doesn’t single out any one of the voices, but she can tell.  Love is such an easy sound to recognize once you know it.

                Abby’s eyes fly open. 

Next to her, Abby’s best friend stares straight ahead.  Belle’s eyes are betrayed, filled with tears, and Abby can’t recall ever seeing somebody so crushed.  Abby doesn’t have to follow her gaze to know exactly what her best friend is thinking.  She knows how Belle feels about Jamie, and she knows how obvious it must be that he’s in love with Marley.  If Belle looks like this, her soft blue eyes filled with an anguish Abby can just barely relate to, it has to be over Jamie.  She loves Belle with all her heart, but she knows how Marley and Jamie are meant to be together.  After all, people don’t jump off boats heading to their rescue for just anybody.  Abby witnessed them together first-hand, and they have a type of chemistry that just doesn’t exist between most people.

“Belle?” Abby whispers, squeezing Belle’s hand in hers.  Even if she agrees Marley and Jamie should be together, she’ll still be there for her best friend.

Isabelle doesn’t even turn.  It seems as if the word shook her out of her trance.  Belle tears her hand out of Abby’s and runs out of the room.  Abby hears startled sobs as Belle rushes out of the auditorium, all the way to the point when the door slams closed behind her.

Abby almost races after her, like she usually would, but something is bothering her, chaining her to the room.  All around her, people are embracing.  Joyously thanking the world for being back from the dead, or just being back in 1998.  But Abby has nobody.  Not one person is waving at her, recalling the time they spent together.  She looks around for Eli.  She’s sure she could recognize his beautiful messy hair, the precise way it falls into his eyes.  She knows if she saw his sea-blue eyes, she would instantly recognize him.  He could be shaved bald, look sullen and depressed, but she would recognize him just through his eyes.  They’re gorgeous, and so unique Abby can find them in any crowd.

But he’s not there.  Abby even sprints to the stage, the only place Eli could be hiding.  Nobody notices the panicked girl, too caught up in recalling their own fantastic adventure.  She checks behind the velvet red curtains, and calls his name through the auditorium.  Her voice bounces off the walls, echoing throughout the entire theatre.

He never emerges.  Abby’s heart sinks.  Tears fill her eyes without her consent and begin to spill down her cheeks.  Abby’s never cried at school before, but she doesn’t care right now.  Her legs collapse beneath her, and she’s left sobbing at the side of the stage.  She needs Eli, and she knows she won’t ever have him again. She won’t be able to listen to his miraculous, soothing voice one more time.  That expression in his eyes will always be in her memory, yet she’ll never be able to see the exact way his eyes sparkle.  The precise feeling she had when he wrapped his arms around her isn’t something she can simply preserve, and take out when she feels alone.  The warmth he provides can’t be replicated by just anyone.  It’s him that Abby needs to survive.  She’ll be empty until she can find him once more, and right now it seems as if she never will.