Playing His Game

Chapter Thirty-Five pt. 1 | You Don't Have to Mean It

Thirty-Five
Part One:

His eyebrows shot up in surprise the second the words left my lips. He glanced down at the papers he had started to gather into his backpack, then back up at me, slowly giving me a nod.

I stood up and prepared to lead the way out of the classroom, focusing on keeping my breath even rather than looking at him.

I glanced back to make sure he was still following when we reached the swells of people. I chose to forgo my locker, instead marching right past towards the double doors.

Carly stopped me when I started to pass her locker. "Hey, you up for the movies tomorrow ni-oh, hey, Trent." Her dark eyes went wide when he stopped next to me. She looked back at me. "Um, I guess you're busy. Just talk to me later, okay?"

I gave a small smile along with my nod. "Sure, I'll text you tonight."

She murmured a quiet sound of agreement before turning back to her open locker, but I was almost certain she was smiling.

I continued without pause outside the doors of the school, something akin to a skip in my step as I led the way down the stairs.

Instead of continuing straight into the rows of parked cars in the student lot, I veered right, relieved when I confirmed the courtyard and all of its tables were empty.

Trent seemed nervous as we came to a stop at one of the stone picnic tables. He was usually the one calm and in control, while I was anything but, but the roles seemed to be reversed at the moment.

"Are we sitting?" Trent nodded at the table, nestling both hands in the pockets of his dark jeans.

"Yeah," I nodded. "But this won't take long."

"So," I started, when we were sitting across from each other. "I talked to Grace today."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and I could tell he was holding back from asking me who that was. I waited calmly, three more seconds clicking by before his eyes lit up in realization. "You did? Did she...tell you what happened?"

I drummed my nails on the stone surface of the table. "Yeah, she did. Now I know what really happened that morning."

Visible relief passed over him and he leaned closer to me over the table, but then quickly frowned when I pulled away. "What's wrong? You know the truth now."

I took a deep breath. This obviously wasn't going to be as easy as I'd imagined but, no matter what, I had to keep a calm front. "You're right. I do know the truth now, but it doesn't change anything."

He reared back. "What? What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess it kinda does." I bit my lip. "I mean, I'm not really mad at you anymore, just...resigned."

Now he was starting to look upset. His dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Resigned? What the hell are you talking about, Audrey?"

"Just because you changed your mind and decided not to sleep with her doesn't mean you two didn't do other things." I sighed, bringing my hands out of view and resting them in my lap. "And that's just something I'm not okay with. I-I...I know it probably doesn't matter to you what I think, anyway, but I just wanted to tell you." I took a gulp of air after getting the words out.

He opened his mouth to argue, then abruptly shut it, repeating the process one more time before a frown came to rest on his pretty face. "So, what are you saying?"

A part of me was disappointed that he didn't argue with my words, confirming that he really didn't feel the same about me. I put my hands in my hair, stress starting to rack my body. "Sorry. This is coming out all wrong. It doesn't matter, anyway."

His dark eyes searched mine. For what, I wasn't sure. I was probably just as confused as he was. He suddenly reached across the table and grabbed my arm, bringing my hand back into view and covering it with his. "Audrey, no. I can...I know it was a mistake. At first, I was just going to let you hate me, because I knew what happened was wrong. That's why I didn't call you for days. But then I saw you again on New Year's, and I knew I couldn't lose you."

I looked away, hating myself for the tears that were already stinging my eyes. I squeezed them shut until I was sure it had passed, before shaking my head. "Trent, just stop. You don't have to say those things, okay? You didn't want to actually be with me, and that was your way of showing me. I get it, really."

"Hey, I'm not making shit up, Audrey! Wait!"

I started to get up, and Trent was quick to rise to his feet at the same time. He caught my hand again and forced me to stop a few feet away from the table we had been sitting at. "Don't run away, Audrey! You always run away!"

"Why shouldn't I?!" I yelled, glad there wasn't anyone around to hear, though I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered if there was. No matter how hard I tried, we always ended up arguing. "All you ever do is say the same bullshit, but you never change!"

"It's not bullshit! I mean it, Audrey! I wanted to be with you, only you. I still do!" His voice had risen just as loud as mine, but the desperation in it only pushed me further over the edge.

"Then why were you in there with her? Why?!" My cheeks were unbearably hot as I grew more upset.

I stood there, out of breath and basically panting while I waited for an answer. I felt like everything to come depended on his response, which is why I felt crushed when he simply deflated.

He shook his head. "I..-"

"Right," I nodded frantically. "You don't know. That's what I thought. Well, you know what? I think you're full of shit. This was all some sick game you've been playing and I'm done."

A wave of inner calm washed over me once again, and I reminded myself to just stick to what I had already planned on saying. "That's what I brought you out here to say, anyway. I think it's best that we end this, and stick with being friends."

His eyes widened, and I pasted a smile on my face. "Don't worry. It really is best this way, I think we both know that."

His grip on my wrist had loosened while he stared at me in shock. I slipped away from him, slinging my bag higher on my shoulder. "You're forgiven, okay? This is our chance to start over."

I turned my back to him and began a slow walk towards the parking lot, relieved he didn't try to stop me this time. If he did, he would've seen the fresh tears that pooled at the corners of my eyes and threatened to spill over.

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Aww shortest, saddest lil mini chap of the whole book, but fret not, pt.2 is just a swipe away ;)

Btw... if you're a glutton for punishment like me and want to torture yourself with some sad songs, Piledriver Waltz by The Arctic Monkeys and Roslyn by Bon Iver were on repeat while I wrote this :')