dissemble. | filipino version

026

I sighed a couple of times before I went in inside of my room. Sighing for the nth time, I glowered as I saw her sitting beside on my armchair.

I didn't care to look at her on eye because I was still angry, mad and furious about what she did. And I don't know when to forgive her yet.

Sighing again, I sat beside her. I immediately looked infront of the blackboard to see my professor standing with a wide smile before she started discussing.

A snort was heard behind me and I didn't bother to look whose the owner of the snort because I already knew who it was. And I am not yet ready to face her.

"Deidre..." she called in a soft voice but I sat still, facing back from her, still.

"Deidre... please mag-usap tayo," I was stunned when a sudden grab was felt on my wrist. I immediately took a glance at her, seeing her was about to say an excuse for the professor. "May we excuse to the bathroom, ma'am?" she had politely asked and the professor had just nodded for a yes response.

She quickly look sideways and took few immediate large steps to step out from the room, with my wrist was on her hold, still, I made a face as I grumbled at her.

I reacted with her hold as I tried to get my wrist back, away from her. She went inside the comfort room, I followed. Binitiwan niya agad ang kamay ko saka siya bumuntong-hininga ng malalim.

I looked away as she tried to get my stare, "Deidre... for the nth time, I'm sorry." she mewled.

"I'm really sorry..." she cried as she tried to get my arm, I nearly guffawed at her mild action.

"You were my bestfriend. Vince was yours too. Paano mo nagawa sa amin ito? Pati kay Dandreb?"

She hiccuped, "I loved Vince, Deidre. Since day one," she confided.

Namilog ang mga mata ko, "I want you to dislike him because I am selfish. I want him only for me. Exclusively for me and I am very sorry for that. I am really selfish, Deidre."

"Kaya mo ginawa 'yon? You had made Dandreb to believe in your lies. And I am really proud of you for that one," I faked a laugh, "Actually, hindi lang pala si Dandreb ang napaniwala mo. Even me. Even Vince."

"Deidre!" she hollered and I made a swift move to slap her, "Why, bestfriend? Hindi mo matanggap? Na wala na ako sa buhay mo?"

Bahagya siyang natigilan sa ginawa kong iyon pero hindi niya ininda. "Deidre... please," she cried a lot but I never bothered to have pity on her, "I just want your forgiveness..."

"My forgiveness?" I laughed hard, "Sana naisip mong mangyayari ang lahat ng ito bago mo iyon ginawa, Julez. Sana naisip mo," I looked at her wet face, "At talagang umaasa kang mapapatawad kita? The hell,"

"Dandreb's gone," she blurted out.

"And you think, paniniwalaan kita?! Sa lahat ba naman ng kasinungalingan mo, sa tingin mo, paniniwalaan pa talaga kita?!" I screamed, "Alam mo, n'ong una, si Dandreb pa talaga ang sinisi ko eh," I heaved a breathe out before continuing, "Sabi ko pa, siya ang sinungaling kaso nagkamali ako. Ang tanga ko lang,"

"No, Deidre..." she said, "Believe me. Dandreb's gone. Iniwan ka niya,"

"Fuck, July!" I hollered.

"Akala kasi niya ay hindi mo na siya papaniwalaan. Akala kasi niya ay---" I didn't deign to let her finish the rest of her words as an another hard slap landed on her right cheek. Another tear fell from her eye.

"Shut up, bitch," I muttered as I made my way out of the comfort room. I roamed my eyes all around.

Thank God, walang tao. I thought as I heaved a sigh before I made my way again towards my room. Not remembering what had happened. It is something not to be treasured of instead, a trash to be littered.

She wasn't worth it. At all.