Before We Rise

Chapter 18

"What did you just say?" I asked, moving my head slightly away from him. He sighed and moved off me, sitting on the edge of the bed. He placed his head in his hands, shaking his head.

"God, I'm such an idiot. Of course you don't have those feelings towards me." He whispered to himself. I slid closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. I leaned my chin on his shoulder and slightly kissed his neck.

"Do you remember when you disobeyed your commanding officer back in your training days to get that flag?" I asked him. He nodded, letting his hands drop. He stared at the wall, not turning to look at me.

"Yes, I remember. I got punished for it after you were gone." He told me.

"I know. But that besides the point." I paused. He glanced back at me, not fully looking at me.

"What does 'me getting a flag back in training days' mean? I don't completely understand what you're trying to say." He urged me to explain. I reached up and started playing with the hair on the back of his neck as I got up on my knees. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, laying my hands on his chest. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his ear.

"Because that day, I felt more feelings for you than I should have. That same day I defended you to Coronel Phillips, it wasn't because you were a obedient struggling soldier. I defended you because I saw more. More than he did, more than my father. Probably more than anyone you had ever meet. That day you saved me from being ran over from that Hydra agent who killed my father, was the day I completely and utterly fell head over heels. I have loved you for over 70 years and I plan on loving you for a lot longer if you'll let me." I whispered in his ear. He quickly jerked his head back to look at me.

"You really mean that?" He asked, doubting what I said was really true. I cocked an eyebrow up and grasped his face in my hands. I pressed my lips against his and he instantly kissed back. He finally moved, getting one arm around me and the other hand on my hip. I pulled back before we even moved another inch further.

"How's that for your answer?" I asked, breathlessly. He smiled slightly before grasping both hips and swing me into his lap. I crossed my ankles at the base of his spine as he ran his hands up and down my back as he held me to him. He scouted backwards and laid us both down on the bed. I snuggled into his chest as he kept one arm around me. I laid my arm across his abdomen and pressed my head against his chest.

"I think the moment I truly knew that I loved you was when you wore the red dress to that bar." Steve whispered. He laughed slightly. "I thought I was just dreaming when you walked through those doors but when Bucky greeted you, I knew you were real." I looked up at him.

"You dream about me?" I asked him. He looked down at me. He ran his hand up and down my back.

"I do more than dream about you. Riley, you have no idea what you mean to me." I sat up on one hand to fully look at him. He had a haunted look in his eyes. "I have nightmares about that day in Sokovia. I never knew how much you meant to me until I saw the light draining from your eyes in the life boat. The moment I was shoved out of your room because your heart stopped. The day I had to say goodbye to you. I never wanna feel that pain again."

I stared at him as he reached up, brushing some hair out of my face. I grabbed his hand and laid back down. I held onto his hand as he rubbed his thumb over it. It was a nice and quiet moment between the both of us.

I bit my bottom lip as I slid out from under Steve's heavy arm. I concentrated on his slow, deep breathes as he slept. Once I slipped out of his hold, he rolled over and hugged a pillow, tightly. I walked out of the room and into the living room. The whole team except Steve was sitting down, looking up at a standing Sam.

"Riley?" I heard them all as except Sam and Wanda as I walked over to Sam. He flinched back as I wrapped my arms around his waist, shoving my head into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Sam." I apologized. He instantly wrapped his arms around me, tightly.

"It's okay, Riley. I forgive you." He whispered back. Then I felt more arms wrapped around us as I smiled, hearing a few sniffs.

There was one thing I didn't know. It was that the team wasn't whole without me.