Troubled

27: Done.

Megan Crawford.
Tuesday, September 1st 2015.
11:10.

One morning when I woke up, I was fine. I fell as I walked out of my house and bruised my knee, but despite that, I was good. Some books that I had bought online had come in the mail and I drank a delicious cup of black coffee. I did not know though, that in a matter of hours, everything would change for the worse.

Kyle and I had talked the night before, because now we always called each other when we were about to go to sleep. Our conversation had not gone on for long, since he had been exhausted for some reason. Once I had heard him yawn a few times, I had said that maybe he should go to bed and I would see him in the morning. But as I walked into the bookstore, I found that he had not shown up. I sighed. He had decided to sleep in, and that meant that he would not be around to distract me as I tried to work.

My time around him was my favorite. Because I could tell him about small things, such as the books that I had once liked to collect as a child, how good a restaurant I had gone to had been, how much I loved my new color of lip gloss. I could question him about his opinions on racism, sexism and the government –I personally thought those were some of the most awful problems going on at the time. He was someone I could have true conversations with, and there were few people that I could say the same about. In those times when we did not stop to breathe and just talked for hours, I really got to know him.

I knew what each one of his tattoos meant, I had learned all the anxious thoughts that went through his head, as well as the way he smoked his cigarettes. I knew where he liked to be kissed, how his bedsheets felt on my bare back. I had memorized how his voice sounded when he muttered the words to songs by his favorite bands, as well as the smile that appeared on his lips when he was watching a movie and a character said something clever. I had learned that his mother had come up with a delicious recipe for lemon pie, and that he never made eye contact when he was feeling awkward. Those were the things I remembered the most, I had forgotten what his favorite color was as well as his middle name. I only bothered to recall the details that mattered. I loved having conversations with him that made me think, rather than making small talk.

There were things I wanted to change about him, because even I realized that he had flaws. He could get mad in a matter of seconds, he could say rude things that he did not really mean, he could be too conceited sometimes. I wished he would smoke less, since it caused him so much harm, and I wished he would get more sleep, because he looked tired most of the time, and he was always up at two in the morning, telling me that he wanted to go out. However, he was still a good person and kisser, and I could not really complain because I was quite complicated too.

I was thinking about all of this as I was standing on a ladder in the bookstore, looking for a collection of poems that had attracted my attention. No one was around, so I could just breathe and have some quiet time with myself. Olivia was in the storage room, doing some chores, and Aria had gone out with someone. She had said that she thought this new boy was really sweet and would not cause her any pain, the way Jake had done. I was glad that she had found someone that was good for her.

My mind had been racing, but my thoughts seemed to leave all of a sudden when I heard the bell on the door chime. The bookstore had been so silent, so the sound echoed around. I glanced to see who had walked in, and I frowned when I saw that Josh was standing there, with his hands in his pockets and his bottom lip between his teeth.

"What is this about?" I said as I got down from the ladder and looked at him. His brown eyes showed fear and confusion, and he just seemed done with everything. I had not seen him since the night of the storm, when Blake had had some friends over, and for some reason, he had gone too.