The Light in the Dark (completed)

Can we try normal?

    He explained what anorexic meant and how it was a condition people got where they didn't eat and normally exercised too much but that wasn't the case with me.
I didn't know. I sign and flipped onto my side. I dropped my arm off the edge of the bed. Zach took my hand and I closed my eyes.
    Soon I felt Zach sit up but not release his grip on my hand and I blinked my eyes open and turned to where the doctor was saying.
I got a call? At least I think that's what he said. I glared at Zach who just ignored me and pointed to my stomach where the feeding tube was missing. The doctor just shook his head and made his way over to me. I covered the spot in my stomach where it was to be inserted. I held my arm protectively over my stomach.
No please! I signed quickly and the doctor turned to Zach who translated.
    Zach only looked at me with pity and helped the doctor pry my arm away. The struggle quickly ended and I unwilling let the doctor stick the needle in my stomach. I flinched and squeezed the edge of the bed. He then strapped my bandage back on and whispered something to Zach before leaving.
They're keeping you here for a while. Zach sign
Where is here? I sign.
Few hours out from home. He signs once again.
Your home you mean? I corrected and he looks at me with something I didn't recognize. He just nods reluctantly. And why did you come here too?
I wanted to make sure you were alright so I came and I'm staying with a friend. He signs.
A friend? Jealousy prickled over me and I shook it away. Is it a... She?
    He chuckles. No, it's not a she. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks. They wanted to put you in a program to help people with anorexia.
I don't need help with anything! I sign exasperated. Everyone's acting like there is a problem with me?
But, you didn't let me finish. You can't send a deaf person to a group thing like that. It wouldn't help you... So they are making me have sessions with you, every day. He seemed nervous telling me.
I don't need help. I state and fold my arms over my chest.
You can't continue like this Holly! He signed.
What's wrong with me like this? My eyes filled with tears but I closed my eyes to keep them from falling.
    I felt his hand touch my gently and I opened my eyes to watch him sign.
Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you Holly. Your just not healthy and I want you to be healthy. He signs.
You want me to get better? I sign. Nobody should be caring about me like this.
Yes. His simple reply make me think. Why was I doing this anyway?
Then I'll try. I reply and lay my head back down on the pillow. Thank you. I closed my eyes and slept.
    My eyes flickered open and I sat up. A familiar girl sat in a chair by my bedside.
Kacy! I sign, though I don't know if she understood because I launched myself at her in a huge hug. I pulled apart and she started signing.
I'm so sorry! I should never of left you and I feel like all of this is my fault and if I stayed you would be okay! But now your not okay and it's all my fault! I could barely make out what she was saying because she was signing so fast.
No body could have stopped this, Kacy. I sign. It was so much pressure with the new girl-
    What new girl? Kacy signs.
Paris. She's just a snob but I won't let her bother me anymore I promise.
    Holly. They're adopting me. Kacy signs. The little hope I had, vanished.
That's great Kacy. Really it's great don't regret it. I sign slowly. Tears start to fall from her face and she reaches forward and wraps her arms around my neck. I fold her arms around her and sit my head on her shoulder.
I don't want to leave you Holly. She signed with tears flowing from her eyes. Will you be alright? What's to keep you from doing this again?
    As if on signal Zach walks into the room and awkwardly scratching the back of his neck and saying something to Kacy which I made out as make her keep her feeding tube in. They're about to send in more food. She just nods and turns back to me and a grin stretched across her face.
So are you two a thing? Kacy asks.
Not yet. I giggle a bit at her comment.
Will he help you, do you think because I refuse to leave if I think you won't be alright. She says with concern swallowing her eyes.
I think so. I sat I unsurely Yeah. He will.
Okay Holly,  I have to leave now I'm so sorry, I've gotta catch a plane back in an hour. Oh my god Holly I'll miss you but I'll visit to check on you.
   I'll miss you too. And I cry with her as she leaves.

•••

Okay I think I got it. I sign and roll the wheels on my wheelchair and speed off past Zach. They let me out of the hospital only yesterday- then I flew a back here on a plane- and then confined me to a wheelchair. I was back in my temporary home with Zach and I went back to school tomorrow. I still have to have my daily sessions with Zach since I couldn't go to a support group. I rolled my eyes at the thought. They've been slowly feeding me more and more everyday. The second day I got sick and threw most of it up. I feel like I was eating to much and getting fat but Zach's pep talks every day made me reconsider.
The people who drove us out here from the airport, dropped us off at the orphanage but we took a walk down the rode and back, working on controlling the wheel chair. They said I was 'to weak' to support my own weight. I only rolled my eyes at the thought.
I felt my chair come to a gaily and looked back to see Zach holding my handles. I think we should go back now. He signed and I nodded in agreement. When we came up to the door I flinched at the steps and looked back at Zach. I rolled myself up farther and wrapped my hands around the railing. I felt Zach's hands on my back pushing me up from the chair. I limped up the stairs not realizing how week I really was. Then, Zach carried my wheelchair up and sat it down by the door.
Thanks you. I sign as the door swiftly opens. Mrs. Walls looks at me for a moment with fake pity. The other girls crowded around her out of curiosity. I rolled myself in and as soon as I was all the way in I turned my head to see Zach talking to Mrs. Walls. She narrowed her eyes and nodded. I looked back to where Zach was standing outside the door and I have him one final wave before Mrs. Walls slammed the door shut.
    I rolled myself through the living room and the crowd of girls toward my room. My sheets were folded at the end of the bed and a grin danced on my face. I stopped by the full length mirror. My reflection was ugly. The dark circles under my eyes had vanished but I still had hollow cheeks. I felt like everything could go back to normal. Well at least as close to normal as I could get. But I think I was wrong.