half/closer | GirlXGirl

half / 1

Loneliness.

It's the word that bounded me. The flood of feelings that conspired me to step out of the entry of my birdcage and had me thinking that I was no less than an unfortunate girl just like the others.

It's the term that contained me inside my room, the moment when I burst out crying, realizing no one knows how unhappy I was. A time when you feel like you are drowning under the Austral Ocean while you see everyone around you breathing so effortlessly.

But the odd thing is, the person who had heard my cry is the only one who dragged me up for the first time. The only person who had given me ship to sail beyond my known limitation.

That's the one who brought me up to this point. The smell of breakfast, the faint sound of the cracking oily meat of the bacon under the fire while the AM radio announced that it was already time to gust out of the house and go to school. To spend my day with my peers, attentively listen to the teachers speaks, meet up with my best of friends at the cafeteria and occasionally, practice cheering routine after class.

I knew that it's always going to be an ordinary day. But an ordinary day is actually what I hated the most. That's why I move, I exploit and inspire to make a day more remarkable. To make each day counts since my loss afflicted the dates afterward.

Mostly, it's the only method that drove me away from memories — a timeless quest to destroy my own loneliness.

And this day was also going to be just like any others.

Extraordinary.

Different morning, then a series of flaws, a sequence of reminiscence, worthy chastisements and a midnight of possibilities.

And then an act of letting go.

...

"Mom, I have to go... I can't wait for the bacon anymore," I grumbled, tossing my keys inside my tote bag and then rounded our kitchen counter to walk close to my mother and peck her on the cheek.

"Sorry, honey... I didn't get to wake up early," my Mom, Monica, said with a defeated sigh, showing the wrinkles on the brinks of her blue rounded eyes. She seemed she had a lack of sleep and I knew the reasons why she couldn't bring herself to have a good rest last night. Maybe there's a possibility that this week would make her feel restless at all. Dragging... yeah, definitely.

"It's cool, Mom. I'll just drive through the Starbucks and order a strawberry waffle and a cup of brewed coffee."

My mother who adopted me delivered a smile, and kissed me back on my cheek. "You and your love with coffee. Okay, lady... go now or you're gonna be late to school. Your Dad and I has a dinner meeting later at evening so don't expect us to get home early, alright?"

I nodded, smiling at her. "Got it but wait... Do I look beautiful today just like you?"

"You're always beautiful, honey. That's why your sister held you and asked us to be our little baby."

I giggled. "Which makes me so lucky."

After waving my hand as a goodbye and kissing her cheek some more, I set off from our modern luxury mansion and approached my F-type black Jaguar sitting on our outdoor garage. I named her, Maleficent. It was pretty dandy model, odd for a student like me to drive around but my father insisted that we had money anyway so why not spend it in luxuries.

He would always say, 'Wealth brings strength, strength confidence.'

'And being confident is one of the key to success', my Mom added after.