Loving you is painful

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Hi all! *waves* so yes this is a very different kind of story. I hope you all like it! I haven't read too many paranormal gay romances, so I have no clue if this story plot has been done before, but this is something I thought up randomly one day while chilling on my couch, bored out of my mind. :)

I hope you all like it, and give it a chance.

This was originally called "Fan Girl Story" (LOL) because I seriously couldn't come up with a decent title. It was named that because I'm a huge fan girl and wish this could happen to me in real life. Sadly, it can't so I shall write it out as a story! ;)

So basically I'm dedicating this story to ALL fan girls out there that want to be a boy so they can be with that special gay boy in their lives! ;)

Alrighty I'm done....

Here is the first chapter my darlings!

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It was ten o'clock on a Saturday night and what was I doing? Out at the club? Nope. Out on a hot date with a gorgeous man? Wrong again.

No, I was sitting in my small living room wearing my worn out sweats paired with an old baggy college sweatshirt, and watching sappy romantic chick flicks, with a half eaten pint of Ben & Jerry's. God, I was pathetic. But in all honesty, I didn't want to be out partying the night away or out on a hot date with some guy I could only hope to fall in love with. I was already in love, even though it was a one sided love, and I knew no one else could ever compare to the man that would forever have my heart. Just thinking of never having him reciprocate my feelings made my heart ache. I closed my eyes as the tears slowly slid down my face, and took a shaky breath, trying to hold down the sob that wanted to let loose. But I didn't want to cry over him, not that he wasn't worth crying over, I just knew that it wouldn't do me any good. I had no doubt that if I wasn't the way I was he could probably love me back, but I couldn't change the fact that I was a woman, no more than he could change the fact that he was gay. Besides, I didn't want him to change, he was perfect just the way he was.

After finally composing myself, for what felt like the millionth time today, I finished off my ice cream and sat watching some ridiculous movie about some stupid girl who will eventually get her happy ending. I hated this movie. In fact, I hated all sappy romantic movies, I was more of an action film kind of person, but apparently I was a freaking masochist and had managed to watch the three out of five romantic comedy movies I had rented earlier today, as to the reason why, I was still unsure of.

"Stupid bitch, of course YOU get your happy ever after! Where's mine, huh?! Where the FUCK is MINE!" I screamed at my television as I watched the fugly bimbo ride off into the sunset with the man of her dreams, the credits rolling as the picture slowly disappeared into blackness. The tears came back with a vengeance, as I threw my tv remote at the screen. I heard the crack of the plastic as the rectangular object smacked into my old-school television. A sob tore out of my throat before I could stop it, and that snapped the last thread of my barely-there restraint.

I gasped for breath as sob after sob tore through me. I couldn't stop the pain that seemed to hollow out my chest, the same exact spot where my heart sat beating frantically. My heart literally ached, and I was honestly scared that it would break into tiny little pieces sooner rather than later. It thumped heavily in my chest as if to respond to such a ridiculous thought. "Fuck!" I cried out, my fingers slipping into my messy shoulder length hair, grabbing it at the roots and pulling, tearing out small amounts of hair. It hurt like a bitch, but I didn't care. I pulled, and ripped and tore away. My stupid, beautiful, GIRLY hair! I hated it! I hated everything about me! Why couldn't I be someone he could love?! Why did I have to fall in love with the one man in my life that could NEVER love me the way I love him?! "You're pathetic! So fucking pathetic..." I choked out, talking to myself, which only made the whole situation worse. Apparently I was going crazy now, because what sane person talks to them self out loud?!

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 17, 2013 ⏰

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