greed ( cedric diggory ) ✓

17; the stages of grief

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

She felt like she was drowning, the tears hadn't stopped all night. It was like her heart was spiraling into a deep dark abyss and all she could do was think about everything she could have done and there were so much fucking things she could have done. She'd cried what felt like oceans of tears and even now hot tears were running down her cheeks. It felt as if it would never dull, that this pain in her chest would never cease.

The grounds were dark too even in the morning. Storm clouds rolled over them with the sunlight snuffed. It was like, it too knew the loss that had occurred the previous night. It was permanently stained in her mind, something that felt like she'd never forget it. Her telling him it would be okay and then in flash it not being okay. It feeling like it would never be okay again.

The wind picked up its howling intensity but she stayed welcoming the distraction. Beckoning anything that would stop this feeling in her chest.

The silver pin pricked her finger sending a trail of blood down the pale skin as she stared at it her lip quivering. The pin, the godforsaken pin that was supposed to protect him and give him luck. She clenched her hand, she couldn't even think of him without fresh grief washing over her. The little pin dug into her hand and she welcomed it but it would never distract her from the real pain she was experiencing.

"You were supposed to give him luck," she whispered throwing the pin into the lake, the small splash it made not making her feel any better, "You were supposed to bring him home to me," she whispered her eyes gleaming with tears. Fat lot of help that had done, putting her faith in a tiny piece of silver. Had she actually been under the impression that worthless thing would be able to do anything to protect him?

She stood staring at the lake unable to gather the strength to go back and face everyone and their pitying stares. Shakily her hands ran through her messy hair then slide down to her dirty clothes from the previous day. She took a deep breath trying not to break into another flurry of tears.

"Don't Avena," she whispered to herself, "Be brave, be strong,"

Avena Detroit had felt sadness before but this was different. It was the same emotion in a new foreign concept. She knew what he'd say, that he'd tell her not to cry or tell her some silly joke that he'd come up with. God she missed his grey eyes and gleaming gold hair and that annoying smile that made her light up. Without him she felt empty, and this pain was nothing like the one she had previous felt with Draco.

"Avena?" she stiffened as she heard Harry Potter's voice not wanting to address him. "I know you can hear me," he spoke softly and sadly. She sighed turning around to face him bringing a shaky hand up to her eyes in an effort to rid herself of any tears.

He was the mirror image of her, the same sullen face and sunken eyes. Avena's makeup had run giving her raccoon eyes and his injuries were only just beginning to heal. Whilst she was still clad in yesterday's clothes he was in pajama pants and some horrible knitted sweater. But just like her, his eyes were an endless pool of sadness. She didn't feel sorry for him, he'd lost an acquaintance, someone he barely knew she'd lost someone she loved.

"I'm sorry," He began but she raised a hand letting the tears fall down.

"Do you know how much it hurts?" her voice came in short gasps as she let out a loud short laugh, "I can't close my eyes without seeing him, he is every where I look. And then I see you, The Boy Who Lived, the amazing Harry Potter who always manages to get past whatever life throws at him. The boy who leaves destruction and chaos where ever he goes,"

"I tried," he stopped seeing the look on her face. She shook her head squinting up at the sky not wanting to hear a word he said. Of course he tried, anyone would have tried but that wasn't what mattered. She had lost someone who had meant more than the entire world to her and was standing in front of the last person who had ever seen him alive. Had he thought of her, had it hurt? She took a deep breath shaking, yet to no avail did it calm her.

"I just don't understand why it's always you that survives," She squeezed shut her eyes in an effort to stop the tears. When she opened them she saw that Harry was no longer holding his back as he whispered back at her.

"I don't know either,"

NOTE:

I think that Ced's death marked the start of the war and like I don't know. He was my baby but I wanted this story to be tragic. Also I feel like in the years to come Avena would like be really crucial in helping the Golden Trio. Like I could see her destroying a horcrux and thinking for Cedric. Like in the War of Hogwarts I can see her being a total badass....

So like yeah, I don't think that Avena will ever really forgive Harry because a small part of her will always believe that he could have saved him. Also we're coming up to the end of the story too.