I Meant It
It had been six months since the plane crash that took the life of Mark Sloan’s one and only true love, Lexie Grey. He still didn’t believe she was gone most of the time. Sometimes he stood at the hospital doors and stared at them waiting for her to come waltzing into the hospital. He expected to see those beautiful brown eyes look into his as she walked through the door, warmth radiating through both of them and melting his heart completely. He would grab her around the shoulder and they would be happy together. Today was the day, he decided.
“Hey, how’s it going?” He smiled looking down to the ground under his feet. Snow lightly dusted the grass. “I know I haven’t been around much lately. It’s been a crazy six months. I thought things would be different. I thought colors would be brighter, smells would be stronger, things would just be... I don’t know... better? Nothing is really better. When you have something that bad happen I don’t think much is going to get better.”
Mark sat down with his feet under him and sighed, feeling tears come into his eyes, he pinched his nose to try and stop them. “Meredith has a nickname. Medusa. Can you believe it? Your sister, Meredith Grey, is now Medusa Grey. They actually see her as the serpent haired wench who turns people to stone.” Mark chuckled a little. “So much for bright and shiny. That plane crash changed us all. I think we’re all dark and twisty now. I hate how different everything is.”
“Derek’s hand is still broken. Callie is trying really hard and doing everything she can to get his hand back but she’s not sure if it will work. It’ll work right? He’s teaching, Lexie. Derek is not a teacher. You and I both know that. Derek is a lot of things but he’s not a teacher. He’s one of the best neurosurgeons in the world or at least he was.”
“Arizona lost her leg. They had to amputate.She’s still not back at work.” He sighed, his breath shaking. “She’s trying but it’s breaking her and Callie apart. She resents Callie for doing it but she had to. The infection was too great and she would have died if she didn’t take the leg. Callie has been sleeping at my place. That’s how desperate she is. She can’t even stand to sleep in the same bed as her wife. Sometimes I just want to tell Arizona to be happy that she still has her life. That she is still alive and around the people she loves and to be happy that she has people that care enough amputate her leg in the first place.”
Mark reached forward and touched the cold marble headstone. The wind blew behind him as he looked around. It was quiet. Nobody was around or at least not as far as he could see. He ran his hand along the engraving in the light grey marble, Alexandra Caroline Grey, it read. Mark gave up. He finally let the tears fall. It was the first time he really cried since the accident. He thought back to the accident.
“Hold. My hand.” Mark heard her say in breathy syllables.
“I’m not holding your hand because you’re not dying.” Mark responded trying to keep the tears from falling. He had to stay strong for Lexie. She needed him to be strong.
“Hold. My hand.” Lexie whispered as Mark got up to try and move the plane again.
“No, you’re not dying. Do you hear me? You don’t die today.” He screamed as he tries to lift the plane with all his power and no luck. He leaned against the plane for a second before lowering back to the ground and grabbing her hand. “I love you.” He whispers.
“You don’t have to say it just because I said it.”
“I do. I love you. I’ve always been in love with you and I’ll always be in love with you. Which is why you have to stay alive. We- We’re gonna get married. You’re gonna be an amazing surgeon. We’re gonna have two or three kids.”
“So, Sofia can have siblings.” She smiled.
“Yeah, a sister and two brothers. We’re gonna be happy, Lex. You and me. We’re gonna have the best life, Lexie. You and me. We’re gonna be so happy. So, you can’t die, okay? Because we’re supposed to end up together. We’re- we’re meant to be.”
“Meant to be.”
“I meant it, Lex. I meant what I said when you were under that plane out in the woods. I meant it. I didn’t just say it because you were dying. I wanted a life with you. I wanted to wake up with you everyday. I wanted to get married and have two or three kids. I wanted my life to end up like that. I knew-” Mark sighed wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I really knew that we were meant to be.”
He sat there for a while longer and just cried. It felt good. He felt relief wash over him. All of those built up emotions finally were released and he felt like he could breathe again. Mark felt like he finally accepted that she was gone. That was good. He could move on with life. He wouldn’t leave her behind be he could still move on with life. His phone beeped. He looked down at it and sighed as he looked at the text. His smiled as his phone’s wallpaper still a picture of him and Lexie. “Well, I have to go.” He picked himself slowly off the ground. “I will see you tomorrow. I love you.” With that Mark got back in his car and headed back to the hospital finally feeling some relief from that tragic spring day.
