Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 41

Emma

It's warm, too warm. The subtle up and down of his chest pushes my head up and down, my cheek pressed against his warm skin. It's the best way to wake up in the morning, no contest.

You know that split second when you wake up? Your eyes haven't opened yet and you have to make a choice, wake up or fall back to sleep. It's that blissful moment when you're not touched by the elements of the day, you haven't started yet and before your mind even has time to function you know that you are in the exact right place in the exact right time.

But this feeling of bliss, this moment where you don't even have to think to know how good you've got it. Well, it's only a moment.

A perfect moment here in Harry's arms, damn I'm in Harry's arms.

The moment's gone.

I slid my head off his chest to lay next to him, just to look. He's handsome. My breath catches in my throat and I can't deal. Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with me because as I just stare at him I feel this pull down there. Jesus, even the sight of him caused rumblings that only a very special guy can cause in such a way. It normally takes guys much more action on their part to cause such physically feelings from me.

A rough burst of energy suddenly fills my whole system and I am wide awake.

Thankfully I've actually had a few more hours sleep since Lina's little interrogation over the phone and I feel rejuvenated. Well physically I feel refreshed, mentally and emotionally, well that's another story.

I want, no I need to fix this. I know I did something to cause last night no matter how hard Harry tried to tell me it wasn't the case. I want to figure it out but I am finding it hard to even think straight. Harry's warmth is radiating off his bare chest and it's only causing me to scoot over and press myself closer to him. It's amazing!

This feeling, this closeness, is so good in fact that it might just have the power to diminish all the annoyance and sadness I feel toward him for last night, but alas, all those emotions are still there bubbling their way up to the surface making me ready to explode.

Like I said, emotionally and mentally, I'm fucked.

I should want to leave right? That was the case last night. I wanted so badly to leave him behind, standing alone in his apartment but I couldn't and I didn't and I ended up in his bed. It's like no matter how angry and hurt I was, who am I kidding, I still am, this boy lying next to me under the covers of his bed still makes me feel better.

He's home, he's safety.

But that isn't enough to erase what happened. This feeling of enmity I have towards the events that filled last 12 hours is still very much a part of my mindset even as I lay here next to my bestfriend.

I'm angry but I don't feel like I need to leave anymore.

I want this. I want him more than anything I've really ever wanted in my whole life.

Harry and I are sure to get through this. Right?

I take a deep breath, sucking in as much of him as I can. Harry's musky scent, a mix of his cologne from last night and mint, god it's good. It overtakes my entire being as if the scent of him ignites something deep inside me, sending tingles up my spine.

There it is again, that feeling. How can I help it, I'm only a women and it's Harry.

God there is nothing better than a man that smells good. It's always been my kryptonite and I have a funny feeling that Harry knows that fact.