Everything We Ever Wanted [Everything #1]

EWEW 21: Into Him and More

L.W.T.B.B Copyright © 2012-2016 xXMopelXx All Rights Reserved.

Current Chapter Posted - Monday, July 4th 2016

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{ Chapter 21 } : Into Him and More

Smoking two joints and getting high with Samuel wasn't the best idea.

Neither was getting drunk and winding up in each other's beds.

No. By far the dumbest decisions. My stupidest mistakes.

Those encounters did nothing but awaken a colossal one-eyed green monster named envy inside of me. Those encounters opened doors to insecurity, to vulnerability, and, the worst of them all, to the ability of actually feeling hurt.

Something strong and poisonous coursed in my veins. Something that could only be depicted as sheer disbelief and immense hurt as my weary gaze latched onto Sam's figure from across the hallway.

My feet had a mind of their own as they eased to a full stop smack dab in the middle of the south wing. Sam looked to be intimately lost in a conversation with a vaguely familiar looking raven beauty. Their cheeks were close as they hushed incomprehensible words to one another. Sam's hair fell forward on his forehead endearingly and his hand on her waist tightened.

Oddly enough, it felt like a tight vice had wrapped its cords around my heart and clenched hard.

My grip on my afternoon coffee mirrored the one wrapped around my vital organ until hot liquid scalded the skin of my hand. I didn't even hiss. I took the pain. Welcomed it, even.

It was a slight reminder that feeling more, wanting more, wasn't always a great idea.

Then the corners of his mouth tipped up in such a sweet smile that the pounding ache in my ribcage only worsened. Had he ever...given me that smile?

Sam leaned forward to kiss her cheek. In the hallway. In the entire populace of this vicinity.

I wheeled around.

Oh, God. What was happening to me?

My heart was racing and I was finding it difficult to swallow. Heat suffused my entire face.

...And I figured it out.

I was, strangely enough, jealous.

In the last few weeks, Sam had showered me with attention and silent promises. Saving me from those goons in the alleyway. Helping me when I puked too much after Josh's party. Showing me his gentle sides. Finding me at the cemetery and taking me home. Telling me that guilt had no reason to live within me. And saving me once again in more ways than one when it all boiled down to his personal choices.

Maybe, in the back of my mind, those moments had already begun to lead to more when in reality there was nothing such as; Samuel Adams was genuinely a nice guy who was cocky, and flirted a little too much with the ladies.

What...different was I? Sure we'd gotten a little too close because of our circumstances, but I think he was a little into me after yesterday and this morning. I was sure of it. He'd admitted it indirectly. Now I wasn't sure of anything anymore.