elevators

s e v e n

phil

"and that time i was questioning my sexuality, so i just braved it and kissed him," i close my eyes at the memory. it was my first kiss with a boy, at that time i wasn't sure what i wanted because i wanted to be in a relationship but i wasn't solely attracted to girls.

"did he kiss you back?" the dimpled boy questions, resting his chin in the palm of his hand and staring at me through his hair. his eyes appear slightly golden in the dim glow of the elevator, and his tall frame is bent over, exposing his prominent collar bones.

he's pretty.

"he did for some seconds before pushing me and hitting me square on the jaw," i trace my my cheek, remembering the lingering pain that it left, both physically and emotionally.

"shit, i'm sorry," he mutters, eyebrows furrowed and i just give him a soft smile shaking my head.

"no it's okay, that helped me discover myself a little bit," i told him. "i realised that eventhough sometimes i was attracted to a person physically, their personality mattered more,"

"i don't know what i am," he shrugs, straightening his back and resting back against the metal.

"well you do not have to know for sure," i push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and look over to him.

"i mean, i am sometimes attracted to people but not all of them and like, i am not sexually attracted to someone unless i know them very well," his eyes are full of confusion and slight nostalgia as if he is remembering something, and so i cough awkwardly to snap him back to reality.

"have you been in a relationship before?" i ask him and his cheeks flush.

"i don't-" he stutters. "i'm not ready to-"

"oh i am so sorry! i totally understand you don't have to," i ramble and he gives me an apologetic smile before looking down at his lap, fiddling aimlessly with his fingers.

an awkward silence stretches between us and i can physically feel the air thickening. i should really keep my mouth shut and learn to respect people's personal space. i take a mental note of not doing that again before letting out a loud sigh and opening my mouth.

"i'm really sorry for that, i didn't mean to invade your personal space and i understand if you don't wan-"

"oh my god stop," the boy's eyes are slightly wide as he holds back a smile, his cheeks tinted a soft pink. "it's okay don't apologise," he reaches forward to place his hand on my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze and i smile at him.

"but really i am-" i begin to apologise for one last time but he just snorts, retracting his hand and slumping against the wall once again.

"stop it grandpa, i'm okay," i just chuckle slightly at his statement, glad that i did not make things any more awkward.

"i really want a shiba inu," he suddenly says, sighing dreamily and it's my turn to snort at him.

"you're such a meme, you want it because of the doge thing don't you?" i accuse him and his eyes widen as if he has no idea what i'm talking about.

"no! what makes you think that!" his voice is high pitched and slightly wavering confidence.

busted.

"oh come on, you look like a meme so don't deny it," i groan and he rolls his eyes.

"fine that's partly the reason," he admits, and i smirk at him. "but they're cute anyway,"

--
to everyone asking,
NO THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BANG IN THE ELEVATOR JFC