How To Begin Again

Chapter 20 - I'm In His Favourite Sun Dress

Note to readers: Hey everyone, as I'm sure you all know I have updated the front cover of my works, this is because I am currently going through the process of putting my book together as I will be publishing next year. I hope you all stay updated in the meantime and buy a copy of the book next year! I will keep you all updated on the process and give you a more formal release date towards the end of this year. Happy reading!

Part Four - Video Games

Chapter 20 - I'm In His Favourite Sun Dress

Adriana quickly tapped the decline button and placed the phone carefully back into her pocket. She felt a strong, powerful sickness take over her body as she let her insides burn to ashes. A tear appeared in the corner of her eye as Matt spoke to her.

"Who was that? Are you alright?" He wrapped his arm around Adriana's shoulder and pulled her tight towards his chest. She was good at her hiding her feelings and always had been, but right there Matt saw her emotion, he could feel her pain and he wanted to save her before it could get any worse.

"It's n-nothing, I don't really want to talk about it." Adriana's words were cold and filled with pain, she didn't want anything to do with Jamie as her trust for him had been torn to the ground just like the precious glass, never to be fully repaired again.

"If you don't want to talk about it I understand Ade, I truly do, but I promise that I'll look after you and if you ever need to talk about it I'm here," Adriana couldn't help but smile. She had finally found someone who would look after her in a way that no one else ever could. As his words blew into the breeze she smiled as he had called her by her nickname, a name which only her closest companions had ever used, and Matt was the closest she'd ever felt with anyone. "Just don't think about it, ignore it and it will go away."

How wrong Matt was. Ignoring something never truly makes it go away, it may clear your head for some time but the pain will always come back to haunt you. The little thoughts that burn away your mentality are always there and no matter how much you ignore them, they never go away. Sadly the monsters in our head always win and from that there is no true escape.

*

Emily's face shone as she wore a pale blue sun dress which accentuated her fragile beauty. A type of beauty that was natural and rare to find. Evan stared at her in unquestionable amazement and fell in love all over again. The two of them sat in the back garden alongside Helen as they sipped on fresh lemonade and ate cheese and cucumber sandwiches; Emily's childhood favourite. Helen was happy for Emily, happy that her daughter had finally found someone just like she had found her father many years ago. Although it saddened her to see them in love she wanted the very best for Emily and she knew Evan would look after her. She thought often about Emily's dad and wished hard for him to be back beside her although she knew he wouldn't be back anytime soon. Slowly she sipped her lemonade and thought back to times when she was happy, she knew at that very moment the monsters inside her head had won.

"These sandwiches are delicious mum, do you remember when you and dad used to take me to the park when I was little? How about that time when we were having a picnic and the storm came out of nowhere," Emily's mind was taken back to her childhood, back to the times when her mum and dad would take her to the park and spend hours on end together. But now her dad was gone. This saddened her to think about as she knew the little thoughts in her head were starting to burn away her mentality. As soon as Evan wrapped his arm around Emily and kissed her on the head the thoughts were forgotten about. She knew better than not to dwell in the past as the past is done with and cannot be rewritten.

"I remember that day crystal clear, we ran as the rain came pouring down," she laughed. Her laugh was like a diamond; mesmerising. A sound that left Emily with a definite feeling of content, hearing her mother's laugh was a rare thing indeed in such circumstances. "We ran as far as we could for as long as we could until we gave up, the rain won us that day, but we didn't mind, I remember us all laughing as we walked home drenched without a care in the world."

In life there are times when the storm does win, times when despite your efforts you do not succeed and times where you feel as though you will never win again. In life you cannot let yourself be defeated by bad weather, you must stand back up and face it, accept it and carry on fighting until the sun comes back around. Rather than getting frustrated when the rain pours just accept it and live through it, times like this are the moments you look back on in your future and realise what a strong person you were. Be like Emily and her parents were that day don't fear the storm, embrace it.

*

Adriana lay in Matt's arms for what felt like years to her. As the hours passed the sun moved it's familiar path from east to west. She wanted to be in no other place, his arms were heaven, the heaven she had built around herself. Adriana was happy, happier than she had ever been. Matt had made her feel more wanted in the few hours they had spent together than anyone ever had in her entire life. Matt was her heaven.

The two of them watched the sunset and shared few words as the moon began to take it's familiar place in the sky. As the moon glistened in a blanket of dark clouds the rain began, the droplets fell onto Adriana's face, falling where her tears had previously been. Adriana didn't fear the storm; she embraced it.