One Glance

Chapter 16

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people." Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

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Chapter Sixteen

Luke could only hold her hand. He was well enough now after his surgery that he could move around. But that was all he could do. His brother, his comrades, and even his little sister-in-law were scatted throughout the country searching for his son and all he could do was sit and wait for news.

What kind of father did that make him? How could he ever look his son or his wife in the eye knowing that he had done nothing to find Jamie? Well, there was every possibility that he would not be able to do any of those things.

Isabella might not wake up. Jamie might not ever be found. They could both die – no, he could not finish that thought.

What had he ever done in his life to warrant his family being punished in this way? Luke had served in the Royal Navy. He had risked his life and defended his country. Granted his father had purchased his commission, he had not volunteered, but was that a sin? Luke had not always behaved himself with women in his youth either, but did Isabella and Jamie deserve to pay for those meagre mistakes?

"Stop blaming yourself, Luke," Annaliese said softly from the other side of the bed. She had been saying that for days. So had his mother.

Luke knew in his rational mind that it was not his fault, but that did not take away the guilt. He could only pray that Mary did not hate him enough to harm his child. That thought alone made him sick to his stomach. His only comfort was that he knew Matthew would not rest until he had hunted Mary out from whatever borough she was hiding in.

"Isabella was perfectly fine before she met me," he mumbled. Luke knew it was a miserable, self-pitying and pathetic thought, but it was true.

"Now we both know that is not true," replied Annaliese. "The life we led was no life at all. I was sold to Matthew for a lovely price. Isabella would have had the same fate and she might not have been so lucky. Blaming yourself does nothing for the situation, Luke. Stop it. Everything that can be done is being done. Matthew will find Jamie and Isabella's doctors will do all that they can."

Luke knew she was right. Annaliese was always right. She was quiet as a mouse but she was always rational and patient.

As if on cue, Luke heard the door open and Annaliese greeted the visitor. "Good morning, Doctor Whitney," she greeted. "Hello, Helena," Annaliese added carefully, as his mother no doubt followed the doctor in.

Whatever emotions Luke was feeling on the inside, Helena was showing them externally. She had been a blubbering mess, not that Luke could blame her. He wondered how long it would be before he broke down into sobs.

"Good morning, Lady Cassidy, Captain Cassidy," greeted Doctor Whitney.

Luke did not know what to think of Isabella's doctor. He seemed like a competent fellow who knew what he was talking about, but he still drilled into Isabella's skull after making an estimation of where her bleed was. He was mad, but brilliant.

Not that Luke could see, but Doctor Whitney made his usual assessment of Isabella. Annaliese had previously narrated them for him but had stopped. Once finished, he said, "The same. Mrs Cassidy is not any better, but she is not any worse."

"You said that yesterday," said Annaliese impatiently, "and the day before that."

"Head injuries are unpredictable, Lady Cassidy, especially haematomas. I never promised you or Captain Cassidy anything, I am not God, but I am doing my best. I will call again tomorrow." With that, he left, and closed the door behind him.