Getting to Know You

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Time seemed to blend like paint in well, one of my painting. Did I mention I am not the best artist? Anyway, moments blurred into each other, that's the point I'm trying to get across.

After I made up with Thorin, the tension in the company seemed to disappear instantly. When me and Thorin made it to the dining room, me still clinging to him like a koala, everyone was laughing and chatting, and though Thorin did look a tad annoyed, he also looked like he was trying hard not to crack a smile. That or he is constipated, really with him you never know. I didn't really talk, just sat around and listened, but I felt included and that in itself made my heart lift. Seaweed still gave me a few weird looks, but he also snuck me an extra piece of cookie ( not that there weren't more in the cupboard, but its the thought that counts). I eventually ended up with Gandalf (seriously, he is more koala like than me), but he looked so much less worried I simply let him treat me like a kid. Shudder.

At one moment I managed to get Beorn and Thorin together and warn them that they would run out of supplies and that I am pretty sure the path is broken. I also lightly mentioned elves and prison in the same sentence. Cue more grumpy Thorin, I swear, he has like four emotions, grumpy, broody, shocked and constipated. I did not mention that out loud. Well, maybe I did, but only Bilbo and Gandalf heard and both laughed, so I figured I was off the figurative hook. I asked Thorin his plan. it was to do what he planned to do in the first place just with more food, then to drop me off at Lake town. I mentioned giant, man-eating spiders. He grunted then walked off. Great. What a difference I am making...

A part of me wanted to fight harder, to get him to listen, but I seem to daze in and out of consciousness and when I next looked up, he was long gone. At some point I heard Gandalf whisper to me in what appeared to be Elfish. At another, he was fighting with Thorin, and maybe Beorn was there as well. Then Gloin was aweing over me. Bilbo was looking at me in wonder, Ori not far behind. Gandalf talked to Gloin, then the softness of a bed and Beorns face.

Getting on a horse with, surprisingly, Dori and leaving Gandalf behind felt almost surreal. Before he left he told me everything would be alright and that he was there for me ( yeah right, from what I remember he is about to get his ass kicked by a 'necromancer', but I don't mention that, cause it turns out pretty ok, I think...). He speaks in Elf language ( I assume) again, sigh, then leaves. Great, advice in a language I don't understand. Fantastic.

Beorn gives me a big hug and I hug him back, I may hate him, but I still love him. #teenage emotions. #figure it out yourself. He also gives me an extra apple. It's red (blegh! ( I The ride is short(ish) and I feel a new tension in the group ( at least its not my fault though) because every step our horses take is a step further away from safety and a step closer to doom....I mean the lovely forest....full of giant fucking spider that want to eat you. And there goes my non mental swearing streak. Crap.

Leaving the horses behind and caring all the food marks a new low point for me. Nothing sucks more than hiking. Blegh. Through a wood with giant fuc.....freaking, I was gonna think freaking, spiders. Not to mention bugs, shudder, elves, confusion and lots of dwarves with no Gandalf cheer squad. Just kill me now. Did I mention I'm a major arachnophobic? Mental temper trantrum cue....NOW! Anyway, now I had to carry stuff too in a little pack just for me, aww, literally, please, kill me. At least I feel like I'm contributing I guess, though really, I'm probably only carrying my own food. Sigh. Everyone seems pretty weighed down, not only by their packs but the darkness of the forest.

Why couldn't I have ended up outside Rivendell? Or Lothlorien? Wow, this is a major mental pity party! Whewh! I wave goodbye to the light and horses (and most probably stalker Beorn, yes, I saw the 'bear' following us...sigh). I am starting to get a few weird looks now as I have to nothing and sigh a lot so I guess I should start walking. Using me as a cue, though Thorin must also yell the order as people already start moving (oh honey, nobody is fooled), we start moving. Goodbye sanity. I will miss you.

You know how in fanfics Bofur is always super happy all the time, Gloin always talks about Gimli, Oin can't hear for shit, Dori always looks after Ori, Seaweed (Nori) make lots of lewd jokes, Dwalin is Thorin's personal fanclub, Balin tries to get people to do shit, Fili and Kili are just plain shits ( Imagine Wealsey twins) and Bilbo is just out of it ( Bifur kinda just disappears with Bombur).Well, truthfuly, its kinda accurate, though maybe not as extreme ( and there's nothing to steal here for Seaweed, though he does have a few things I kinda recognise from Beorn...).

Either way, I make it my goal to talk to everyone, though no one is particularly chatting at the minute. To Gloin I talk about Gimli, he really is just the most adorably father. To Balin I talk about what he knows of Elvish culture....he didn't think elves had children....To Oin I shouted out a conversation about the weather, although he may have had a completely different conversation with me I think by the way his face looks. Eh, hearing issues. To Bilbo I reminisce about home and he does the same. Did you know he actually had a whole other pantry under his house packed with preserves for winter, but the dwarves left him so in shock he forgot about it! Some of the dwarves looked traumatised by the news, they could have had MORE food!

Dori I talk about shoes... don't ask why, ok? With Ori I talk aout our shared love of writing. I have a mime conversation with Bifur, it was fun, just about general stuff like family and likes/dislikes etc. It was interesting to do whilst walking. With Nori I talk about ( minor in my case) crimes committed in youth ( well and in adulthood too in his case). Dori is not impressed. With Bofur I talk about music. With Filli and Killi I talk about Harry Potter, they look wonderstruck. With Bombur I discuss food, mmmmmmm Pizza....... With Dwalin I discuss fencing. And with Thorin I discuss why he should not shush me as much when I try talking to everyone else.

All in all its pretty fun! I even save Bombur from the sleepy-time river! Eventually though things grow dimmer. Food gets short. We loose the path ( I suggest we go back but 'someone' cough cough Thorin, says no). Idiot. So we stumble around lost, yah. Conversation stopped awhile ago, everyone too tired. I have taken to periodic falling over and seriously considering never moving again. Sorrowfully though, no one has the strength to carry me. Screw pride, I wanna be carried! NOW! Mental wail. Bilbo climbs a tree and we are further than they got in the books with still a little food, so maybe, maybe there is hope. Or maybe the elves in a few years will find are rotten, eaten corpses. One or the other. All good things must end though, not that I would call this a good thing, but anyway, eventually the shit hits the fan. Cue spider attack. Gulp.

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