I'll Rise Up - Completed #Wattys2017

SNEEZING REALIZATION

Tuesday 19th January 2016

Waking up this morning. I laid in bed. The only thought popping in my head was, why me? as I kept sneezing. My body aches. 

After a couple of hours' mum comes into my bedroom. She has a bowl of something that made my mouth water in her hands. ''It's chicken soup, I just made it.'' Mum says, sitting down on the edge of my bed, then passed it to me.

I gave her a grateful smile lifting my spoon up to my mouth but before I put it inside, mum stopped me by reminding me to eat it in small doses.

''Tyler came for you an hour ago, but I told him you weren't well so he told me to tell you- he hoped you feel better soon and, I quote, 'check your bloody phone.'' I smile nodding my head in acknowledgement, grinning.

After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence mom spoke, watching my reaction, ''so before Ava left yesterday, she said you didn't need to come into work until you felt better.'' Clearing my throat, I said sadly, ''I feel bad for not saying bye to her yesterday, and I hate that I have to miss work, but I understand.'' I swear I'm going to be a workaholic when I'm older.

''Don't feel bad Dawn, it's not something you can change, so don't dwell on it.'' Mum assured me patting my leg. I nodded, placing the spoon in the bowl, then placing it on my bedside table.

''So how was work before all the craziness?'' She inquired. '... It was amazing you know, happy to be there... and Ava is great company.'' I sneezed into a tissue.

''Dawson?'' Mum began, her tone serious. she looks like she's fighting with something. ''What is it mum?'' I blurted out, the air suddenly felt tense.

''Well, yesterday before Ava went home, she told me about your... well your breakdown,'' she revealed to me, I'm not really surprised, Ava is only trying to help me by telling mum, that's just who Ava is, she's a mum herself.

'''Dawn, what happened, tell me please?'' she asks. ''I've just been having a really emotional week, not really sure why,'' I vaguely informed her softly, dipping my head down to the soft tissue that was crunched up between my fingers, not really wanting to tell her it was over rubbish.

''Tyler told me something yesterday,'' Mum spoke, making me lift my head in confusion. What the hell has Tyler told her, I rack around my brain trying to find an answer but came up blank.

I hesitate, ''what did he tell you?''

''Well, he told me you finally told him about Michael.'' She said, I'm going to kill that little...

''Don't be angry with him Dawson, he was so upset yesterday when I called him, to see if he's seen you and I was literally freaking out,'' she looked down, ''not one of my finest moment to tell you the true.'' She moves her fingers to top on her knees and taps, it's her nervous tick.

''I was still questioning him quite loudly when he surprised me asking if it could something involving Michael. After I got over that shock, I said no because we have a restraining order. But then he cursed down the phone telling me he forgot about the rain storm coming,'' She lifted her head back up.

''Once you got home and you retracted into yourself, locking your door, I sat down Tyler and told him to tell me about when and what you told him, this was after Ava told me- I realized that you've only been emotional since you told Tyler on Saturday.''

Keeping quiet through mum talking made me realize that she was right, but I'm still annoyed with Tyler for not telling me last night that he told mum, but I understand. He was freaking out.

I sneezed again. ''Dawn- you said that you are doing ok.'' Mum sad voice drifted to my ears. ''Don't be sad mum, I trying.'' I'm choke out, choking on tears.

''I know you're trying Dawn, and that's amazing, but me, Leo and Tyler can't be the only ones you trust. I'm just concerned about you... so I was thinking about getting you someone to talk to?''

Blowing my nose, I thought about it, I'm only a little shocked. Could I talk to a stranger about myself? Could I do it?

''How long have you been thinking about this for?'' I gaze at her- she was looking at me with a hesitant smile on her face as she answers.

'Well, I've been thinking about it for a little while now honestly. I don't want you to think anything's wrong with doing it, it's to help you.' Mum reassured me, rubbing my leg in a soothing way, ''but it's totally down to you, I'm not forcing you, it's ultimately your decision.''

I then spoke quietly, ''ok mum, I give it a try.'' 

So what do you guys think????????? TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS, don't forget to vote!!

thanks for reading :D