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(don't open that picture unless you read the a/n at the end i swear to god)

phil wakes up first, tightening his arms slightly around dan and placing a soft kiss against his forehead. he is fast asleep, lips parted and eyes shut, messy hair fawning all over his forehead. his skin is glowing, literally, and his cheeks are slightly pink.

he is so beautiful.

phil's chest physically hurts at the sight of him, the thought of leaving him is almost revolting.

he sighs, running a hand through his hair and slowly retrieving his arms from around dan's shoulder, pressing a kiss against his cheek when dan turns in his sleep. he rubs his neck slightly, before getting out of bed and covering dan's body with the duvet, making his way to the bathroom after grabbing his phone.

his eyes squint at the bright screen, and he takes a deep breath before pressing his mother's contact, pressing the cold device against his cheek. his heart is racing and is constantly screaming at him to stop doing what he was planning on, but his mind and paranoia overrules the constant twisting in his stomach.

he just wants dan to be safe.

"hi mum," he sighs, sliding down the bathroom wall and burying his face in his hands.

++

dan woke up alone in the hotel bed, tangled in the sheets, his body uncomfortably hot. he clearly remembers sleeping next to phil, soft kisses and heavy breathing, but the space next to him is empty and dan scratches the back of his head before pushing his body out of the duvet.

dan gets up, slightly confused as he lets out a soft yawn, cheeks flushing at what happened a few hours ago, and allows his feet to land on the cold floor before searching for phil.

he can hear faint mumbling coming from the bathroom door so he knew phil was here.

who was he talking to at this hour?

dan craned his neck to view the clock in their room to see it was only seven in the morning, too early for phil to wake up. another silent yawn escapes his lips and he furrows his eyebrows at phil's strained voice.

"mum will it be okay if i come back home in a day or two?" dan smiles at the thought of meeting phil's family. he was sure they would be lovely people, like phil, and he leans against the door, a stupid smile on his face.

"yes i know it's christmas,"

"no, of course i am coming alone," his smile drops, confusion coating his features. phil..was going alone? what about him? what was he planning?

"why would you think i got a girlfriend?" so phil hasn't told his parents about dan. his heart sinks a little, and he rubs his hands across his face. what the hell is phil doing?

"yes thank you mum, love you too," he hears the beep, signalling that phil has ended the call, and dan quietly makes his way back towards the bed.

his chest tightens at the thought of phil leaving him, without even letting him know. was phil planning this all along? leaving dan just like that without any explanation? where did phil go last week? was he cheating on him? did he not love him? if he knew he was leaving, why did he come back? did he only want to do that with dan before leaving him?

his mind was racing and his vision was hazy from wetness again as a few tears slipped down his cheeks before he wiped them off, getting back in bed. he turned to his side so phil can't see him, stringing the situation together to figure out where he had gone wrong.

after five minutes of silent crying, he can feel the bed dipping beside him, and phil's arms wrapping around his waist pulling him closer.

suddenly he hates the feeling of phil's arms. he can physically feel the reluctance behind phil's lips as they press against his neck, and he can't find the comfort in his embrace as phil tightens his grip on him.

his hands fly up to rub his eyes, freeing them completely of moisture before shrugging off phil's arms and getting out of bed. he feels exposed, he does not want phil to see his body anymore. he feels insecure as he walks quietly towards the table, digging through his bag before pulling out his own shirt. he refuses to wear phil's clothing, it's intimate and if their relationship does not mean anything to phil, he will not continue making a fool out of himself. what's the point anyway?

"is everything okay?" phil's voice is deep, not soothing anymore because all dan can hear behind it are lies.

"yeah," he replies softly, pulling on a pair of sweatpants as well to cover himself. he puts on the clothes under phil's watchful gaze and phil furrows his eyebrows, trying to figure out what's wrong. did dan regret what they did earlier?

"dan?" phil calls but dan just ignores him. he can't look at phil before either yelling or crying out loud, and he was not in the mood of doing any of them.

"dan, baby, are you okay?" the nickname sickens him. he hates the way the word rolls off of phil's lips.

"don't call me that," he simply states, brushing his fingers through his hair and hesitantly walking back to the bed and sitting far away from phil.

"have i done something?" phil quietly asks, sitting up himself, and pulling the duvet up to his chest.

"when were you going to tell me?" dan finally speaks, his voice is small and strained. he looks over at phil and phil looks away from his intense gaze, running a hand through his hair.

"t-tell you what?" phil stutters, earning a loud sigh from dan. he looks back at dan only to find his eyes watering, as he buries his face in his palms and small whimpers escape his mouth.

"dan?" he can feel his heartbeat going haywire as he hesitantly moves closer to dan, and places his hand on his shoulder, but dan just sobs louder, pushing his hand off.

"don't touch me," he murmurs in a broken voice, and scoots as far away from phil as possible before turning his head the other way and wiping his eyes with the back of the sleeve of his jumper.

"please tell me what's wron-" phil begins but dan just shoots him a glare. for how long will he hide it?

"really phil?"

--
i struggled with this chapter its so shit

anyway

so i have finally decided that i will reveal my face (get ready to bleach your eyes) bUt i have like 1 decent picture that i send to everyone so ppl who have already seen this one, fucj you keep your mouth shut (jk i love u)